Duel Monsters Next Top Model
by Mishiko Shinsei
Summary: Pegasus, Dartz and Siegfried von Schroeder make our beloved duelists an offer they can’t refuse. Warnings for crack! and slight OOC-ness. I don’t own any Yu-gi-oh characters, just the cracked-out stories I write about them. Rated for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Duel Monsters Next Top Model (1/?)  
**Author:** Mishiko Shinsei  
**Rating:** NC-17 (eventually)  
**Pairing (s):** Various  
**Beta:** None  
**Spoilers:** Minor for the series  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters in Yu-gi-Oh, just the cracked-out stories I write about them.  
**Summary:** Pegasus is crazy. He draws two other crazies with him, Dartz and Siegfried von Schroeder. Together the three make our beloved duelists an offer they can't refuse. Warnings for crack! and slight OOC-ness.

**Week minus 2**

Seto Kaiba turns the tacky green and pink striped invitation over in his hands.

'Duel Monsters Next Top Model… What the hell is Pegasus up to now?' he muses.

The sound of his cell phone interrupts his opening the envelope.

"Kaiba!" he answers, balancing the phone on his shoulder as he scans the particulars of the event.

"Guten Tag, Herr Kaiba," a heavily accented voice comes over the phone.

"What the hell do you want, Sieg?"

The CEO doesn't bother to ask how the master hacker and fellow CEO obtained his cell number. After the forth time changing it from Seigfried von Schroeder hacking it, Seto decided that it wasn't worth the headache. Besides, once Schroeder Corp. was acquired by Industrial Illusions, he'd had to get used to talking to the prissy, pink, pain in the ass on a regular basis anyway.

"Now, Herr Kaiba, is that anyway to address your business partner?"

"You have 10 seconds before I hang up," Seto growls.

"Tsk. Then I suppose I should just get right to the point."

"…5…4…3…"

"Have you received your invitation from Herr Crawford, Herr Kaiba?"

"And what if I have?"

"Good! I'm sure that with you attending, it will be a great success!"

"And why the hell would I want to enter a modeling competition? That would be a complete waste of valuable Kaiba Corp. time. And I certainly wouldn't waste my personal time on such crap," he sneers, tossing the hideous envelope and its contents into his paper can.

"Perhaps you should ask your brother what he thinks, Herr Kaiba," Siegfried replies almost too smoothly.

"Mokuba would say the same thing. Now get the hell off my phone, Seig!"

"Oh, but I insist, Herr Kaiba," the other hisses into the phone.

Seto is about to slam the phone shut when he hears what sounds to be a struggle on the other end of the line and a muffled, "Let go of me, you asshole!"

"Mokuba?" he murmurs incredulously.

"Yes, Herr Kaiba. I insist that you ask your little brother what he thinks of you declining our invitation, " the pink-haired menace laughs lightly before Seto hears the click of a speaker phone coming on.

"S-Seto?" his brother inquires shakily. "Is that you? They said that they were calling you."

"Yes, Mokuba, it's me," Seto affirms, his mind racing, trying to figure out how and when that German nutball got a hold of his brother. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, just a few scrapes from trying to fight off their goons. But Oscar and Chaz…"

Seto understands Mokuba's trailing off at the names of his bodyguards. Either they were hurt severely or they were dead, since neither of the two knew the meaning of giving up.

"I understand, Mokuba. I'll take care of it."

"They said that you wanted to ask me a question, Seto. Something about Pegasus' latest Duel Monsters contest."

"Yes, Herr Kaiba," Siegfried snorts with amusement. "Why don't you ask him what he thinks?"

"That won't be necessary," Seto replies, retrieving the gaudy invite from the trash. "I'll be there at the start of the festivities."

"Excellent, Herr Kaiba! I'm glad we understand each other." Seto can almost see the hacker's smug grin on the other end of the line.

"Of course, once I show up, I expect that Mokuba will be there to see me and then be sent home," he asserts, careful not to growl into the phone.

"No, I'm afraid Mokuba will have to remain our…guest for as long as you are part of the contest. You understand, don't you, Herr Kaiba."

"You know I will get you and Pegasus for this, Sieg," he snarls, all restraint gone.

"Yes, yes! But by then the event will be a complete success! And after all, you wouldn't want to mar your excellent reputation by being involved in anything untoward happening to your business partners."

"You won't even see it coming," Seto murmurs menacingly. "And I'll be sure to make it look like an unfortunate accident."

"Yes, well," Siegfried clears his throat nervously, "We'll just jump off that bridge when we get to it, won't we?"

"It won't save you from me," he growls, slamming the phone closed.

He doesn't waste time tracing the call, knowing that Sieg probably has the call bouncing off of a tower in Istanbul or somewhere equally as far from his actual location.

"Which could be anywhere on the planet," he grumbles to himself, swinging into action to first find out what's happened to Oscar and Chaz and then finding all about Pegasus' latest idiocy.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Yugi, stop that," Anzu giggles as her fiancée shamefully gropes her behind as she opens their apartment door.

They'd gone out with the gang for their usual Thursday night dinner and since neither had to work the next day, they'd both had a bit more sake than normal and were feeling little pain.

Not to mention they were also both horny as hell. The cab ride home had been quite an exercise in restraint, surprisingly just as much for Anzu as Yugi. Normally, they'd get at least a good morning kiss or late evening cuddle in, but they hadn't spent any time together for more than a week due to her extensive rehearsal and performance schedule.

Swinging open the door, they head inside, kissing and groping with wild abandon, absently closing the door behind them. As they stumble down the hall past the living room to go into their bedroom, someone loudly clearing their voice startles them. Breaking apart for a moment, Yugi hears a sigh of, "Young love, how quaint," before a blow to the back of his neck sends him into oblivion.

The incessant ringing of his cell phone awakens him hours later, face down on his bed, a hideous green and pink striped envelope under his head.

"H'lo," he slurs into the stylish Helio, head ringing from more than just the sake.

"Yugi? Yugi, man, are you all right?" A familiar voice calls to him frantically.

"Jou?" Yugi replies shakily, still very disoriented.

"Man, you don't sound too good. I'm on my way to your place. Lots of bad stuff is going down. I'll be there in five." He hangs up and Yugi drops the phone to the bed, suddenly desperate for some water and a painkiller.

"Anzu?" he mumbles, hoping his wife-to-be hasn't gone out. "Can you get me some water and an aspirin? Anzu?"

Groggily, he makes his way to the bathroom to relieve his most pressing need before washing his hands and shuffling out into the living room, wishing he'd stopped at the second bottle of sake instead of helping Anzu and Jou finish a forth.

"Anzu?"

Looking around the living room, he spots a note on the coffee table.

"Hmm. She must have gone out," he mumbles, picking up the folded paper and flopping boneless onto the couch.

"Owww," he moans, clutching his head. "That was stupid. I swear I'm never drinking that much sake again."

Slowly unfolding the paper, he reads the note, his brow furrowing as the words written bring the memory of what happened last night screaming back at him.

"That bastard," he swears, crumpling the note in his hand just as Jou's emergency key to their apartment turns in the lock.

"Yug'? Man, are you in here?" he calls.

"Living room," Yugi manages.

Jou comes storming in, a crumpled note of his own in one hand and a folded pink and green striped envelope sticking out of the front pocket of his jean jacket.

"Pegasus…" Yugi uncharacteristically growls at the sight.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

By the end of the day, the bulk of the Yugi-tachi are crowded in Yugi's living room, each of them holding their own garish pink and green invitation and several of them holding hand-written notes from their loved ones.

Yugi has a note from Anzu, Jou has one from Shizuka, Yami's note is from Grandpa and Malik's is from Ishizu.

"I always knew Pegasus was a crazy bastard, but to kidnap our loved ones so that we'd participate in a modeling contest…? That dude is truly loony tunes," Honda snorts.

"Yeah, but since we don't know where he's keepin' 'em, we don't have a choice but to go along," Jou inserts.

"But what if he doesn't get all the participants he wants?" Ryou interjects. "Will he punish the hostages for that?"

"Kami, I hope not," Otogi replies, certain that both Jou and Honda would probably be in jail for murder if anything happened to Shizuka.

"So we're just going to let that fucker push us around?" Bakura growls. "Well, I'm not doing it! You idiots can jump through hoops if you want to, but I'm gonna spend my time elsewhere."

"I'm doing it," Ryou affirms.

"So am I," Malik pipes up.

"Ryou, I forbid you to…"

"You…forbid?" the slightly smaller white-haired male snips at his counterpart.

"Um…that is…whatever! It's your stupid life," the former tomb robber grumbles, crossing his arms across his chest and turning away.

"Only because they have Ishizu, will I sully myself with this idiocy," Marik sneers. "And maybe to have a little fun…"

"I'll go just to keep an eye on you, Ryou," Bakura mumbles.

"So, we're all agreed that we'll see this through to the end or until we can figure out how to get our loved ones back?" Yugi inquires to the group.

Affirmative nods are received from everyone present.

"Okay, let's call around and see who else is invited and who's actually coming. Maybe we can get some help," the smaller tri-colored male plots.

All present pull out their cell phones and start dialing.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Noa Kaiba slowly opens his eyes, blinking languidly as consciousness takes hold of him.

Turning his head to the right, he looks around the room he's lying in. Sterile, cold, but not a hospital. As his mind suddenly catches up to him, he realizes how wrong this all is because…

'I'm dead,' he remembers.

"How…?" he rasps, lifting a hand to run through his hair, a nervous habit retained from when he was a child.

"Ah, you're awake," an oddly accented male voice notes from his left.

"W-who…?" his voice sounds and feels scratchy as he turns to address the person entering the room.

"I'm Dartz," the other smiles lightly. "And you, Noa Kaiba, are alive because I need you to help me and my allies take down your step-brother."


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Duel Monsters Next Top Model (2/?)  
**Author:** Mishiko Shinsei  
**Rating:** NC-17 (eventually)  
**Pairing (s):** Various  
**Beta:** None  
**Spoilers:** Minor for the series  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters in Yu-gi-Oh, just the cracked-out stories I write about them.  
**Summary:** Pegasus is crazy. He draws two other crazies with him, Dartz and Siegfried von Schroeder. Together the three make our beloved duelists an offer they can't refuse. Warnings for crack! and slight OOC-ness.

**Week minus 1**

Dartz smiles at his creation, observing how the man thoroughly absorbs information on all of the technological and engineering advances made in the ten years that he's been dead. Day's prior, the now 21-year-old rightful Kaiba heir had focused on the current state of the business world and it's practices. Just hours after his revival, the aqua-haired genius had demanded the latest computer and it's schematics in order to familiarize himself with current computer technology. A blue and brown eye twinkle, remembering the moment when he understood that Noa Kaiba was just as much a genius as Seto Kaiba.

"And I didn't even have to bribe him once he found out that Seto killed his father," he mumbles to himself. "Though maybe he'd feel differently if I hadn't erased his memories of the virtual world."

It had taken a considerable amount of Atlantean medicine and magic to bring the boy, now man, back to life, but Dartz is sure that it will pay off in the long run.

Suddenly, he realizes something significant that maybe he shouldn't have overlooked; Noa was a boy when he died. How is he going to cope in a man's body with no knowledge of what that may entail? Using the console in front of him, he programs lessons on psychology, sexuality and related topics into Noa's planned curriculum for the next few days.

"Better safe than sorry," he affirms. "I wouldn't want the boy to be caught unawares by raging hormones."

For some reason, though the other stood at over 6 feet tall, he could still only think of him as a boy of 11 or so.

"The son I never had," he whispers to himself, shaking off such sentiment a moment later.

Noa Kaiba was just another means to an end. And once he'd fulfilled his purpose, Dartz would return him to the oblivion from whence he came.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Yugi is going crazy.

It has only been a week, but not knowing how Anzu is doing is taking its toll on his psyche. Actually, his breakdown is surprising even to him. Sure, he knows that he deeply loves Anzu, but even he had no idea how much he actually _needed_ her. And not just for the lame things such as where everything is put away in their apartment.

His fiancée, who's been one of his closest friends for most of his life, always has a ready smile for him. She always listens to him ramble on about nonsense until he is ready to actually tell her what's on his mind or bothering him. She always finds a way to reassure him without trying simply by touching his arm lightly or randomly calling him in the middle of the day 'to say hi.'

And these last few years, since the summer after graduation, they've been nearly inseparable. Yugi had even followed his love to New York for a year while she took dance classes.

They'd both decided not to go to University once they got back to Japan. Instead, Yugi had taken over management of the game shop so that his grandpa could retire and Anzu had begun her dance career in earnest. They'd gotten an apartment together and Yugi had popped the question just last month.

"We haven't even set a date yet," he whispers miserably.

"Yug'? You okay man?" Jou inquires as he sits down on the sofa next to his best friend.

He'd opted to stay with Yugi that third night following the kidnappings, once it became obvious that his pal wasn't doing too well. Yami had taken over management of the game shop and Honda had taken time away from University to act as an employee in Yami's place.

"Yug'?" Jou places a hand on his friend's shoulder, hoping to offer some comfort.

"I'm okay, Jou," his obviously distraught friend sighs. "I just wish everything would start already so that I don't have to sit around waiting anymore."

Getting up from the couch, the shorter man begins pacing the living room.

"I'd go back to work, but I know that I won't be able to focus because I don't know what's going on with Anzu! Damn it, Jou! Why can't the crazies leave us alone?" he yells in frustration.

"I guess that's part of what makes 'em crazy, Yug'," Jou shrugs.

"Whatever," Yugi snorts angrily. "Let's go out tonight, Jou. And maybe we can stay over at Yami's or Honda's place. I think I'll lose my mind completely if I have to sleep in that empty bed again tonight."

"You got it, bud!" Jou grins, hopping up to grab his jacket and slip on his shoes.

Chatting lightly about nothing in particular, they make their way the seven or eight blocks to the game shop to pick up Honda and Yami for tonight's excursion.

Jou isn't sure if his best friend knows it, but taking care of Yugi, and to a lesser degree working at the game shop and his classes at the local college, are the only things keeping him from going off the deep end about Shizuka.

"When I get my hands on that asshole…" Jou grumbles under his breath, thinking what he'd like to do to that silver-haired fop.

"What'd you say, Jou?" Yugi inquires as they walk up to the door of the game shop.

"Nothin', Yug'," he waves his friend off casually. "Just grumbling about having to work tomorrow afternoon."

Yugi laughs, lifting Jou's spirits since his tri-colored friend has been just this side of morose for the past week.

"Just tell Yami the truth; that you need the time off to look after me and keep yourself from running down the street screaming. I'm sure he'll let you out of it."

"Yugi…" Jou trails.

'So he did know,' he muses.

"Listen Jou," he smiles lightly at his friend, placing a hand on his shoulder, "I know that you're going just as crazy as I am about Shizuka, so it's doubly great that you're doing all you can to support me."

"Just doin' what any best friend would do," Jou shrugs looking away timidly.

"Are you two going to kiss now? I thought you were engaged, shrimp," Kaiba interrupts gruffly behind them.

"Kaiba…"Jou growls, turning to give the arrogant brunet a piece of his mind. Instead, he swallows his words with a startled gasp, echoed by Yugi behind him.

Kaiba looks, in a word, awful.

His eyes are bloodshot, black-rimmed holes on a pale face, his hair is a wind-blown mess and even his normally immaculate attire is more disheveled than usual.

"They got Mokuba, too," Yami concludes from the shops doorway.

"And killed two of his friends and severely injured his bodyguards to do it," Kaiba adds.

Not wanting anyone on the street to see the powerful CEO in such a state, Jou grabs the taller man's arm and swiftly drags him into the shop.

"Don't touch me, Mutt!" Kaiba protests, pulling his arm away and stumbling lightly into a display.

Even Honda's eyes widen in surprise at the obviously debilitated man's state as Yami quickly flips the 'Open' sign to 'Closed' and locks the shop's front door.

"Please tell me that you didn't drive over here like that," Yugi frowns.

"Like what? I'm fine! I just came to find out if you'd been forced into Pegasus's stupid modeling contest too, that's all," he snarls.

"Kaiba, when's the last time you slept," Yami prods.

"It doesn't matter, I'm fine," the brunet shakes his head, sending him wobbling back into the same display.

"Friends don't let friends drive in their sleep," Jou mumbles, setting himself between Kaiba and the front door.

"So now you losers are resorting to kidnapping too, huh?" Kaiba's sneer loses a lot of its power as he stumbles once again on his way to the door.

"Sit," Yami orders, pulling the quickly crashing CEO by the back of his still flawless white trench through the game shop and onto the couch in the living area.

The mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted brunet is out before his butt hits the cushions.

"I can't believe he even made it here," Honda murmurs in shock as Jou and Yami arrange Kaiba on the couch in a more comfortable position than his passed out sprawl.

"So I guess we're in tonight, Yug', " Jou exhales as Yami disappears to find a blanket.

"I guess so. Pizza okay with you guys?" Yugi suggests.

"Sure, why not?" Yami replies as he re-enters carrying a light blanket. "We should probably make sure that we have enough for Kaiba when he wakes up. Something tells me that sleeping isn't the only thing he's neglected to do since Mokuba's been gone."

"Yeah, you're probably right about that," Jou snorts. Anything else he wants to say is cut off when Yami tosses him Seto's car keys.

"Y-Yami, what…?" the blonde stammers.

"You're the best driver of the four of us. We can't leave Kaiba's car on the street overnight. Take Yugi with you and park it in their garage," Yami delegates.

"Oh, man. If you do anything to that car…" Honda trails off meaningfully.

"Huh! Tell me about it," Jou laughs humorlessly as he and Yugi head out.

Swallowing a bit of apprehension, Jou slides into the driver's seat of the black Mercedes-Benz SL550 convertible as Yugi slides into the passenger side. Turning on the car, Jou just sits for a few minutes, enjoying the purr of the 8-cylendar engine and the plush leather seats.

"Fuck, this is a nice car," he breathes after a few moments.

"Yes it is," Yugi whispers appreciatively beside him.

With utmost care, Jou drives the beautiful and expensive machine back to Yugi's apartment building and parks it far away from any other cars and parking traffic. Creatively taking up three lanes near the back of the garage, Jou and Yugi then scramble to find a car cover after putting up the top and locking and alarming the car.

Nervously they walk back to the game shop, hoping that Kaiba won't have their hides for touching his prize when he wakes up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Duel Monsters Next Top Model (3/?)  
**Author:** Mishiko Shinsei  
**Rating:** NC-17 (eventually)  
**Pairing (s):** Various  
**Beta:** None  
**Spoilers:** Minor for the series  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters in Yu-gi-Oh, just the cracked-out stories I write about them.  
**Summary:** Pegasus is crazy. He draws two other crazies with him, Dartz and Siegfried von Schroeder. Together the three make our beloved duelists an offer they can't refuse. Warnings for crack! and slight OOC-ness.

**Week 0 – Part 1**

Kaiba looks around the hotel banquet hall, glaring at almost everyone present.

'I can't believe this many fools showed up for this crap,' he smirks to himself.

In his scan, he spots Yami, Yugi, Jounouchi and Honda standing together near the far-right wall. His eyes narrow in annoyance as he remembers that the four men kept him locked up in the game shop's residence for two days.

"Yami even used shadow magic on me to keep me asleep! Asshole!" he grumbles, though more than a little half-heartedly.

After all, had those four not kept him there that day, he'd eventually have fallen asleep behind the wheel and crashed his car. With that thought comes the memory of Yami telling him that he'd allowed the Mutt to drive his new 95,000.00 Mercedes and he's pissed all over again. Forget that it didn't have a scratch; the blonde should never have been allowed to drive his car! Fuming, he glares harder in their direction, a part of him finding amusement in the Mutt and his pointy-haired sidekick trying to hide behind the defiant Pharaoh and his shorter look-alike.

Dismissing them with another sneer, he goes back to surveying the small crowd of duelists who seem intent on participating in this event. Just by knowing the prizes, he's sure that he can predict practically everyone's reason for competing.

'Bandit Keith, Mako Tsunami, that dinosaur twerp Ryuzaki and probably the former Thief King Bakura are all here for the prize money; and maybe bragging rights. Knowing how crazy Bakura is, he probably figures he can also wreak some havoc while he's here.'

'That and Ryou probably threatened him.'

Kaiba smiles to himself at that thought. Few people knew that the seemingly benign Ryou could turn into an icy voiced tyrant when he didn't get his way.

'Probably rub off from Bakura,' Kaiba muses.

Back to his scanning, he catches an unlikely set of four sitting together.

'Humph, that insect freak Haga probably just wants the bragging rights,' Kaiba frowns in thought. 'Then again, he might be shrewd enough to pick two percent of Industrial Illusions stock instead of the two million dollars in prize money.'

'Those DOMA losers are probably here because whoever is their new boss ordered them,' he scoffs to himself. 'Though that major flamer Amelda is probably here to ogle all the men and maybe to win the supposed wardrobe from a famous Japanese designer. Clothes hog.'

'That Valon was never good at taking orders, even from a man who could steal his soul, so I'm guessing that he has an ulterior motive as well. As cocky as he is, he's probably thinking about being on that calendar to show of his "good looks". Still, he can be just a crazy as Bakura, so he's probably here just to see what kind of crap he can pull,' the CEO surmises, his intense gaze moving between the redhead, and the armor duelist, all but ignoring the huge blonde, Raphael.

'Seig's little brother Leon is here for the same reason that he was at the KC Grand Prix; because his demented older brother told him to come. He's a spineless wimp, but I have to admire his loyalty to his brother, even if the pink-haired menace is a murdering, kidnapping, psychotic scumbag,' Kaiba nods in acceptance at the wide-eyed, younger von Schroeder.

'I don't know why that blue-haired, cheating freak Esper Roba even showed up. Pegasus couldn't have been desperate enough to invite him. He must have snuck in,' he snorts to himself.

His eyes land on the last two groups of men in the room and conclude that they're all forced participants like himself and the four idiots from the game shop.

'Rashid and Shadi are probably supporting Malik and Marik who are probably only here because Ishizu was snatched. Ryou and Otogi are probably here for those losers around Yami. Though Otogi probably wants the Industrial Illusions stock and the clothes too. He's just as much a parasite as Pegasus, but he hides it better,' the brunet assesses.

A door opens to his left, admitting a lone figure, to the collective shocked gasps of everyone present.

"No. It can't be," Kaiba drops his crossed arms and murmurs incredulously.

Dressed smartly in a dark Armani suit, the older Noa Kaiba smiles politely to all assembled.

"Now that the last of our guests has arrived, we can begin," a familiar, oddly accented voice calls from the panel of three now sitting at the front of the room.

Sheer willpower is the only thing that keeps Seto Kaiba from staggering back in shock at the sight of his DOMA enemy Dartz, sitting at the table between Pegasus and Sieg. His initial surprise is over-ridden by a sudden rage at the collected violators of his person and his company. The unexpected frowning form of Amelda appears in front of him, the redhead's firm grip on the CEO's forearms keeping Kaiba from knocking all bodies out of his way and strangling his enemies.

"As I'm sure you're all tuckered out from your travel here to Los Angeles," the annoyingly fruity tones of Pegasus Crawford lilts, "we will transport you and your luggage to one of my country estates to rest. Transportation will be back to get you at 10:00 am on Wednesday morning for your first photo shoot. Please enjoy your two days of rest."

"Don't be late or you will be immediately disqualified," the German CEO adds.

Kaiba is barely able to breathe through the black haze of rage settling over him.

As the participants head toward the exit, Kaiba finds himself restrained first by Amelda and then by Amelda, Yami and Jounouchi as they gather their belongings and follow the crowd.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After riding along in the stretch SUV limo for a few minutes, reality catches up with the Kaiba Corp. CEO.

Noa is alive…

Noa Kaiba is alive!

"No, it must be a trick," he murmurs, knowing in his heart that it isn't, but unwilling to believe otherwise.

The other nine occupants look up at Kaiba's unintelligible musing.

"What're you mumblin' about there, mate?" The dark-haired aussie quips.

"It's none of your concern," the brunet sneers.

"I guess it musta been a real kick in the balls to see Dartz up on that platform, huh?" Valon ventures, haphazardly. "It certainly set me back a pace when he showed up at our house last month. I swear I nearly bust a nut when he said how much we could win in this stupid contest!"

"Valon, shut up," Amelda grumbles.

"Eh, make me, ya flamer! You're all cozy back there with the big, bad CEO. Is he your latest butt-buddy?" the rogue duelist grins.

That self-same grin is wiped from his face as the Tomb Robber collars him with a hissed, "Leave the prick alone, asshole! You're upsetting Ryou."

But it's only a temporary reprieve, as Bakura's outburst only seems to fan the flames of the irrepressible aussie.

"You care so much, Bakura." Valon grins slyly. "Maybe Kaiba's really your butt-buddy, hmm?"

"Why you…?" Bakura draws back his fist to punch the grin off of the former DOMA member's face.

He is halted by a gruff, "Enough!" from said CEO who'd been snapped from his mental loop by the escalating scene. "Not that it's any of your business, loser, but I am no one's "butt-buddy." I am only participating in this farce to get my brother back. And if I thought that I could accomplish that by helping Bakura beat you to a pulp, rest assured that I would!"

"Ah! It speaks!" Valon grins, unrepentant as he shakes out the collar of his jacket and shirt from where the now seated Bakura had grabbed him. "You'd been curled up like a wounded puppy for most of the ride. Just wanted to make sure that you were still alive!"

Honda, Yugi, Ryou and Bakura stare at Valon incredulously while Raphael, Amelda, Jounouchi, and Yami shake their heads at the brash duelist's actions.

With barely a pause, Valon launches into his second dangerous topic of the afternoon.

"Hey, wasn't that green-haired bloke, Noa Kaiba? I thought that guy died as a child."

This time it's Kaiba himself that Valon finds bearing down on top of him, the CEO's hand crushing his windpipe as several of the limo's occupants fight to pry him off.

"Never, ever mention that subject in my presence again," Kaiba growls dangerously. "Or I will kill you. Do you understand?"

All Valon can manage is a frightened nod, true fear coursing through his veins at the murderous intent swirling in Kaiba's eyes. At the other's affirmation, Kaiba's face flows back into its deceptively stoic mask and he releases the wide-eyed aussie. Shrugging off the uselessly restraining hands and arms of Jounouchi, Amelda and Yami, he calmly goes back to his seat in the rear of the vehicle.

A snicker to his left draws the still shaking spiky-haired brunet's attention.

"And they call me crazy," Bakura smirks.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stepping into the spacious front room of Pegasus' country estate, Kaiba reluctantly finds himself suitably impressed. The area is done up in a quiet peach with teal accents, the furniture a tasteful modern style accented by light cherry hardwood flooring that extends up the front double staircase to the second floor landing; definitely not what he'd expected from the demented cartoon duelist.

'Not that most of these barbarians have a clue,' he frowns distastefully. The bulk of the contest participants pour in the door behind him, complaining about the two-hour ride and scrambling up the stairs to find a place to put down their luggage and sleep.

With an irritated huff, Kaiba picks up his medium-sized suitcase and suit bag. Following a hunch and the soft curve of the cherry flooring around a corner to the right, he locates a spacious bedroom done up in dark blue with white and silver accents. A canopied, emperor-king bed adorns the wall closest to a set of large French doors. With two double beds on the opposing wall, a twin bed on the rear, and the three dressers spaced nearby, there is still plenty of room to walk around the room. To the right of the emperor bed Kaiba spots a spacious walk-in closet and next to that the entrance to what he expects is an equally spacious bathroom.

"Trust Moneybags to find the best room in the house," Jounouchi snickers behind him.

Ignoring the Mutt, the brunet strides into the room, noting several sets of footsteps following him. Taking advantage of the large closet, he hangs his suit bag and begins relocating the clothes he'll need in the morning from his suitcase into the built-in drawers. He'll unpack tomorrow if it appears that they'll be staying in that house more than a few days.

Slipping uncomfortable dress shoes from his tired feet, he gathers a set of pajamas and his necessary toiletries and heads to the bathroom for a shower. He'll then sleep off his jet lag and be wide-awake for breakfast in the morning.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"So, I guess we're all staying in here, huh?" Jounouchi smiles as he drops his suitcase next to one of the double beds.

"I'll take this bed," Yugi chirps, flopping back on the comfortable twin.

"I'd have thought you'd share with Yami," Honda intones, wrestling Jou down onto the bed.

"Humph. Only someone who's never spent a night running from cold feet while simultaneously trying to keep the covers on some part of his body would suggest that," Yugi murmurs sarcastically.

"I'm not that bad," Yami huffs.

"Right. You keep telling yourself that," Yugi grins.

Laughter from the wrestling pair is cut off by a startled yelp in the shower followed by an enraged, "Get out!"

A wet, but gleefully grinning Marik stumbles out the bathroom door, clutching the softly glowing Millennium Ring to his chest.

"Love that invisibility power," he chuckles.

"You asshole!" Jounouchi snarls at him.

"Whatever, Mutt," he smirks, eliciting a low growl from Jounouchi. "He's still as hot as he was in Egypt, Pharaoh," He taunts, flicking a knowing grin at Yami.

At Yami's glower and threatening step forward he ducks out of the room laughing.

"That guy…" Jounouchi grumbles, flopping back on the bed he'd just been wresting on.

"Pay him no mind, Yami," Honda prompts, throwing an arm around the taller tri-colored man's shoulders.

"I'm not the one Marik should be worried about," Yami scoffs as he starts unpacking his bag.

Just then, a polite clearing of his throat draws all eyes to Amelda standing in the doorway.

"Um, it seems that all the other rooms are full. Would you guys mind terribly if I roomed with you?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** Duel Monsters Next Top Model (4/?)  
**Author:** Mishiko Shinsei  
**Rating:** NC-17 (eventually)  
**Pairing (s):** Various  
**Beta:** None  
**Spoilers:** Minor for the series  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters in Yu-gi-Oh, just the cracked-out stories I write about them.  
**Summary:** Pegasus is crazy. He draws two other crazies with him, Dartz and Siegfried von Schroeder. Together the three make our beloved duelists an offer they can't refuse. Warnings for crack! and slight OOC-ness.

**Week 0 – Part 2**

Kaiba finishes his shower, his fury at finding that psycho Marik peeping at him all but abated by the soothing heat cascading over his shoulders.

'I'm only doing this until I can get Mokuba back,' he reminds himself.

After drying off and brushing his teeth, he gets dressed in a pair of blue satin pajama pants and a white undershirt. He exits the bathroom to the quiet bustle of the room's other occupants milling about and putting their clothes into the dressers. Out of the corner of his eye, the CEO spots Yami pulling a medium-sized, framed shot of himself, Yugi and "Grandpa" Motou from his shoulder bag and placing it reverently on the low table beside his bed.

Kaiba notes that a few of the others have also placed personal items on top of the dark wood furnishings, such as Yugi's small, framed photo of himself and an equally smiling Anzu and the Mutt's framed 5"x7" of his sister's graduation picture. He raises an eyebrow in surprise at the candid shot beside it of fin-head and the Mutt's sister cuddled together on someone's couch in a small, plastic frame.

'I should have known,' he scoffs, though part of him is a little surprised. 'I figured that she would be with that dice-freak, Otogi.'

Deciding that none of it concerns him, he walks his dirty clothes and toiletries back to the closet, noting that someone else has decided to use the mostly empty space as well. He waves away the other person's belongings dismissively he neatly folds his dress pants, shirt, under clothes and socks into a corner near his suitcase. He'll find out about laundry services tomorrow.

Moving to the French doors side of the canopied bed, he opens the translucent curtains to climb in and go to sleep, only to be startled by a lump curled up on the far side of the bed. Dropping the semi-sheer material, he corners the first additional occupant of the room he can find, Yami.

"Who the hell is that in my bed?" he growls menacingly, knowing that the best of his angry moods have always rolled right off of the arrogant Pharaoh.

"It's Amelda," the other replies quietly. "He didn't have anywhere else to sleep and he's exhausted. He and Valon just flew in from Australia this morning."

"And how is that my problem?" he glowers.

"Come on, Kaiba. Don't be like that. Think of it as a thank you for taking up for you in the limo and for keeping you from murdering Dartz this afternoon."

"That's not necessarily a deed worth thanking him for, Yami. Dartz needs to die. Especially since he probably had a hand in bringing Noa back to life," he snarls.

"Kaiba..."

"If he comes within a foot of me, I'm kicking him out," Seto hisses, heading back to the now occupied bed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You're just jealous, Tomb Robber," Marik smirks, handing the white-haired man the Millennium Ring. "You only wish that you could have seen Kaiba in all his glory yourself."

"And I told you that he'd see you if you tried it," the other sneers. "And I am NOT jealous! You didn't see him in the limo. Kaiba's shooting with an unstrung bow. I wouldn't mess with him too much if I were you."

"Whatever, Thief," Marik waves him off, much as he did that idiot blonde earlier.

"Your funeral," Bakura shrugs, securing the ring around his neck. "I'm going to go find Ryou. We need to get to bed."

Marik scoffs at the other's warning as Bakura heads out of the room, certain that his partner-in-crime is merely exaggerating for effect.

"And I'll prove it," he grins to himself, also heading out of the teal and cream room, fingers firmly wrapped around the Millennium rod.

Down the hall, in a bedroom a little smaller than the one he's sharing with Marik and Ryou, Bakura finds his quarry talking quietly to a leather and satin-clad Otogi, a shy smile gracing the gentler man's face. A spike of unreasonable jealousy flares at the scene, before Bakura ruthlessly suppresses it.

"Time for bed, Ryou," he intones, stepping closer.

"Isn't a little early, Bakura?" Otogi questions, glancing at his watch. "It's barely 9 o'clock."

"You may not need to recover from jet lag, dice-freak, but the rest of us do," Bakura sneers. "C'mon, Ryou. You've had something to eat and now it's time to sleep."

"Bakura's right, Ryuuji," Ryou exhales. "I do need to sleep off this jet lag. But we'll talk tomorrow after breakfast," the smaller white-haired man chirps as the larger drags him away.

"Tomorrow then," Otogi waves.

"Whatever, dice-freak," Bakura growls, his jealousy back full force at the smile in Otogi's eyes.

"Bakura, are you alright?" Ryou inquires as he changes into his pajamas beside the taller man.

"Fine. Just fucking tired," the other grumbles.

Ryou nods in acceptance before asking, "Where's Marik? Isn't he going to get some sleep too?"

After swiftly checking the bathroom, Bakura comes to what he hopes is the wrong conclusion.

"That idiot," he mumbles. "I hope he's not trying what I think he's trying."

"Bakura?"

"C'mon!" He grabs Ryou's arm and pulls him along down the stairs toward the large bedroom at the back of the house. As he nears the darkened doorway, his heart lifts a bit, thinking that the crazy Tomb Keeper may have actually listened to him.

Kaiba's enraged, "What the fuck are you doing?" followed by a strangled yell and the crash of splintered wood and shattered glass, immediately quiet that thought.

Advancing quickly into the now brightly lit room in front of his other half, Ryou bears witness to a sight he hopes never to see again.

The remains of the shattered French doors hang open precariously, while on the stone patio beyond, Kaiba is strangling the life out of Marik across a black, ironwork table, its two chairs knocked over by the force of Kaiba's attack. Frantically, Amelda, Jounouchi and Honda are trying to loosen the grip of the completely out of control brunet, to no avail.

Suddenly the CEO drops like a rock. Out of the corner of his eye, Ryou catches the Sennen eye fading from Yami's forehead, a grim frown to his lips and Yugi's sympathetic hand on his shoulder as the others half drag, half carry Kaiba back to the huge bed closest to the doors.

"Ryou, call an ambulance," Bakura's clear voice cuts through the smaller man's shock and he turns to go find a phone.

"Already done," Otogi informs them as he steps into the room, the faces of the house's eleven other occupants peering cautiously around him and the doorframe.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Your brother would not have been happy if you'd killed him," a light tenor voice intones next to Kaiba as he blinks awake.

"What the fuck do you know about my brother?" he grumbles to the unknown person as his senses begin to clear and he starts remembering what happened last night.

'That is, if it was last night,' he ponders as he recognizes the lifting fog of one of Yami's mind crushes. 'I'll have to remember to pay that bastard back for that,' he promises himself.

"I know that, like my own little brother, he isn't a fan of violence," the now familiar voice of Amelda admonishes.

"Hn. Shows what you know. You've obviously never seen his video game collection," Seto retorts nastily.

"Don't be obtuse, Kaiba. You know what I mean," the other snips.

Looking around, he realizes that he's back on the canopied bed with his unwanted bedmate sitting nearby.

"So, if he's not dead, where is he?" Kaiba inquires, still trying to get his bearings. Yami's hit wasn't that hard this time, but it still hurts like hell and has wreaked havoc with his equilibrium.

"Intensive care," Amelda replies sadly.

"Good," Kaiba growls.

"Kaiba, you can't mean that," the redhead admonishes.

"That fucker was trying to use the rod to control me," he hisses, closing his eyes and reaching for a moment of calm. "Trying to get me to take off my clothes and let him…" he trails off bitterly.

"Hmm. He's lucky that I didn't know that at the time. I'd have probably helped you," Amelda scowls.

Kaiba turns to the figure sitting cross-legged beside him, assessing the truth of the other's words. Seeing the tightly controlled fury in shadowed, silver eyes, he believes Amelda's assertion.

"Then the Pharaoh would have just blasted us both," he smirks.

"Possibly," Amelda smiles. "Are you hungry? Breakfast should be ready in about 20 minutes."

"Good, then I have time for a shower," he mumbles, slowly pulling himself from under the covers to head into the closet and then the bathroom.

"You're in no condition to shower by yourself," Amelda states, crawling across the bed to stand in front of the struggling CEO. "Let me help you."

"No," Kaiba scoffs at the offer even as he accepts the shorter man's assistance up from the bed. "This isn't the first time that I've been hit by Yami's Mind Crush and I'm certain it won't be the last. I can manage just fine."

Shaking off Amelda's arm, the CEO straightens and purposefully makes his way to the closet and then the bathroom.

"Stubborn, arrogant..."

"Yes. Yes, he is," Yami startles Amelda from the doorway of the bedroom.

"He's also hot as Hell," Amelda murmurs under his breath.

Yami laughs, secretly agreeing wholeheartedly with the redhead.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Just own the words, not the folks

**Title:** Duel Monsters Next Top Model (5/?)  
**Author:** Mishiko Shinsei  
**Rating:** NC-17 (eventually)  
**Pairing (s):** Various  
**Beta:** None  
**Spoilers:** Minor for the series  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters in Yu-gi-Oh, just the cracked-out stories I write about them.  
**Summary:** Pegasus is crazy. He draws two other crazies with him, Dartz and Siegfried von Schroeder. Together the three make our beloved duelists an offer they can't refuse. Warnings for crack! and slight OOC-ness.

**Week 0 – Part 3**

"Because of Marik's "injury", the start date for the contest is pushed back a week," the contestant informs his boss. "Meaning that the houseful of duelists have to share each other's company for at least another seven days. Added to the four days that they've already spent together, nerves and attitudes are dangerously at the edge for all.

"Except Kaiba. After Marik's "accident" Kaiba commands a wide berth from the bulk of the other duelists. The "Yugi-tachi" of course defying the odds, for some reason not afraid of the 'slightly-psychotic-around-the-edges' CEO. Kaiba has also seemed to acquire an unlikely ally in the form of former DOMA member, Amelda."

Dartz listens to the last of Noa's findings, frowning at the mention of Amelda befriending Kaiba.

"What is he up to," Dartz wonders aloud.

"Sir?" Noa inquires from the other end of the cell phone.

"Nothing, Noa. Thank you for the report. Please continue to keep an eye on things for me and let me know if anything else goes wrong."

"Yes, sir," Noa acknowledges before hanging up.

"Goes wrong, indeed," Dartz mumbles to himself, placing the cell phone on the console before him. Having Kaiba nearly kill one of the contestants definitely wasn't in their plans. "I didn't realize that he was wound so tight. That could become a problem."

Putting that concern aside for a moment, he contacts his partners in crime to make sure that all is in readiness to record the contest for television after the first cuts are made.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Humph. 'Goes wrong' he says. I wonder if he would consider the return of my stripped memories as something 'wrong'," Noa mumbles to himself as he walks back to the house.

While he understands that he owes Dartz for bringing him back to life, he's feeling increasingly uncomfortable about helping the Atlantean and those other two betray his stepbrothers. Sure, he wants to take over Kaiba Corp., but he doesn't want to hurt Seto to do it. Not anymore. And he certainly doesn't want to hurt Mokuba!

As his memories return, the need to protect his little step-brother grows. If he knew where Dartz and the others were holding the raven-haired young man, he'd release Mokuba for sure! But he doesn't. And he's certain that Dartz will never let that information slip.

"And it's not in any database or anywhere on his network or stand-alone computers," he re-affirms to himself, mind racing to figure out another plan.

A part of him wants to approach Kaiba directly and suggest that they pool their talents to find Mokuba, but he knows that idea is foolish.

"He'd probably kill me as soon as look at me," he sighs.

Opening the front door of the house that's been little more than his prison for the past week, he heads to the back patio where he knows this morning's breakfast will be served. As expected, a huge buffet is set up near the elaborate garden that leads to the Olympic-sized pool. At one of the carefully placed tables among the foliage, he spies an empty seat near one of his cell, er, roommates. After filling his plate with several delicacies, he sits down to eat.

Mako Tsunami smiles brightly at the slim, green-haired man pulling up a chair beside him. The ocean-obsessed duelist finds that he rather enjoys Noa Kaiba's company and that at least he can carry on a sensible conversation with the man. Frowning, he tries not to listen to the comments from his other roommate at the table next to him, Bandit Keith, and his chosen tablemates, Shadi, Rex and Weevil. As usual, the four blatant homophobes are discussing their mutually despised gay duelist, Amelda. Mako shakes his head and starts a conversation with the more rational Noa.

"They'd better be careful," Mako murmurs solemnly to his roommate. "It's not like Kaiba's gotten any saner over the past few days, and it's obvious that Amelda is important to him."

Noa nods in agreement, the sentiment echoed by their other tablemates, Leon Wilson and Esper Roba. Self-consciously, they all glance toward the large table in the far corner of the patio where Kaiba and several of his roommates are seated. Kaiba is staring at Jonouchi with disdain as the blonde duelist inhales a large omelet.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kaiba stares at Jonouchi's voracious devouring of his meal. It's not like he hasn't seen the Mutt eat before. It's not even that he hasn't seen the blonde inhale an omelet or three before! It's just that today...today it reminds him...

He manages to tear his eyes away, finding himself suddenly forced to hold down his own light breakfast of crepes and coffee. He'd never really liked eggs in the first place, but he didn't truly hate them until that bastard forced him...

With a hastily mumbled, "Excuse me," he jumps up from the table, sending his chair clattering loudly behind him and sweeps into the house, trademark white trench billowing in his wake. All eyes on the patio watch his swift departure and the quick trailing behind of three of his roommates, Amelda, Yami and Jonouchi.

Amelda finds him first, hunched over the toilet in their master bath, too involved in losing his breakfast to have even shut the door. The redhead closes the door quietly, sympathizing with the brunet retching behind him.

"I hope it's not something he ate," Jonouchi offers, turning a little green at the sounds coming from their bathroom.

"I think you need to go back outside, Jonouchi," Yami insists. "We don't want you to get sick too."

"Good idea," Jonouchi agrees, scrambling out the door and back out to the patio. After a tall glass of cold water and minute or two to get his stomach under control, the blonde goes back to inhaling his second omelet.

Back in the large bedroom, Amelda and Yami are trying to piece together the reason for Kaiba's sudden illness as the sounds behind the door quiet down and are replaced by first the sound of sink water and then the shower.

"Did he say anything?" Yami inquires as he and Amelda sit across from each other on the double beds.

"No, he had his head in the toilet when I came in," Amelda responds.

They continue their silent vigil as Kaiba showers, the brunet emerging a few minutes later in just a towel before stepping into the closet for a change of clothes.

"Sorry to disappoint you two," Kaiba's voice carries from inside the closet, "But the positions of 'Seto Kaiba's bodyguards' has been filled for quite some time."

"What about the positions of 'Seto Kaiba's friends'?" Amelda retorts smoothly.

There is a short pause before the CEO replies.

"I'm still writing the job description for that one, but I'll be sure to let you both know when the position opens."

"Good enough," Yami smiles, hopping up from the bed. "We'll meet you out front. Something tells me that you're done with breakfast and a nice walk might do us all some good."

"Perhaps," Kaiba acknowledges as he watches the two duelists leave their bedroom.

'Hah, 'their bedroom'! Is that ever a weird thought!' he contends.

Shaking said thought from his mind, he proceeds to get dressed to meet the other two out front. Maybe a walk would do him some good. If nothing else it will keep him away from Bandit Keith and his homophobic minions. If they knew that the stone patio reflects all conversation into the corner where Kaiba sits, they'd be much less vocal in their hatred of Amelda.

"Maybe I should tell them, just to see their reaction," he smirks. "Better yet, I'll casually mention that despicable nickname they've given Amelda and watch them soil themselves in fear."

When Kaiba exits the large house laughing maniacally, Yami and Amelda aren't sure what to think.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Are you sure that he's not gonna try and kill me again," Marik asks Ryou shakily. The white-haired 19-year-old turns to his counterpart in inquiry.

"Umm, we're reasonably sure," Bakura offers.

"That's not good enough! Turn this limo around! I'm going back to the hospital!" Marik exclaims.

"Stop being such a wuss," the platinum blonde's other half pipes up. "You brought that on yourself, so just deal! Right now we have to think about Ishizu! They've already postponed the start of the contest a week for you, which means one more week that she's somewhere being held captive. You will get yourself together and do this for her! I've already given the Millennium Rod to the Pharaoh for safe keeping –"

"You what?" Marik interrupts.

"You heard me! I gave the Rod to the Pharaoh to hold on to for the duration, which is a small price to pay toward getting our sister back. That's the ONLY reason that we're here, Marik; to get her back! And if that means giving up the Rod or even you getting on your knees and begging Kaiba's forgiveness, that's what we're going to do!"

"On my knees? Beg? You must be joking," Marik laughs darkly.

"If it's necessary," Malik snarls, leaning into his shocked counterpart's face, "you will."

"Whatever," Marik tries to dismiss his smaller look-alike.

"And did you even stop to think about what Rishid would do without you, you selfish prick," Malik grumbles as he sits back.

Marik's eyes widen in shock and he reflexively reaches for the gold eternity band normally set snugly on his left ring finger; only find the space bare.

"He took it off of you that night," Malik responds to the silent question. "Said he didn't want it damaged."

"Is he okay?" Marik questions quietly.

"I guess," Malik shrugs. "He's been his usual quiet self the last few days."

Marik nods solemnly, understanding the vehemence of his other half a few moments ago. He really hadn't thought about Ishizu or Rishid when he went to pull that prank on Kaiba.

"Fuck!" Marik curses succinctly. If Rishid ever finds out what he tried to do..."Fuck," he swears again. He has to be the biggest idiot on the planet.

"Wait, lemme get this straight. You and that tattooed guy are married?" Bakura exclaims, finally overcoming his shock over the forceful Malik and the wimpy Marik.

"Yeah," Marik growls, "for the last two years. You wanna make somethin' of it?"

"Nah," Bakura laughs. "It's just hard for me to see you as the "settling down" type."

"Yeah, well. Whatever," Marik dismisses the now snickering white-haired fiend with a wave.

"So Rishid didn't come with us to get you because you don't want anyone to know," Ryou surmises.

"Yeah, it's still a secret. So don't go blabbing it to everyone you know Tomb Robber!" Marik demands.

"Okay, Marik. I'll do my best not to tell them that you turn into a wuss when Malik gets mad!" Bakura howls with laughter, ignoring Ryou's smacks on his arm about 'being nice'. No, he wouldn't tell the Tomb Keeper's secret. After all, he has his own secrets to keep.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Strong, familiar arms circle Ryuuji Otogi's waist and he snuggles back into them.

"I thought you might not be coming tonight," he sighs into the warm embrace, turning to face his lover. They'd gotten together in just the last week, though they've been dancing around each other for years.

A warm, passionate kiss steals the dice-master's breath away.

"With you in my bed, I'll be coming every night," the other nips at a bare shoulder after relieving Otogi of the tank top to his pajamas.

"Ah, but this is my bed, so does that mean you won't be coming tonight?" Otogi teases.

"You're mighty chatty tonight, dice-freak. I guess I'll have to shut you up the hard way," he quips, grinding his arousal into Otogi's.

"Mmm. Yes, shut me up the hard way, love," Otogi moans, clutching at what he knows to be a wild, white mane as his lover's warm mouth latches onto one of his nipples.

The soft mist of the Shadow Realm envelops them, concealing their tryst from nearby eyes and ears.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Just own the words, not the folks

**Title:** Duel Monsters Next Top Model (6/?)  
**Author:** Mishiko Shinsei  
**Rating:** NC-17 (eventually)  
**Pairing (s):** Various  
**Beta:** None  
**Spoilers:** Minor for the series  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters in Yu-gi-Oh, just the cracked-out stories I write about them.  
**Summary:** Pegasus is crazy. He draws two other crazies with him, Dartz and Siegfried von Schroeder. Together the three make our beloved duelists an offer they can't refuse. Warnings for crack! and slight OOC-ness.

**Week 0 – Part 4**

Kaiba nearly bursts out laughing at the shock and fear on the faces at Bandit Keith's table.

'Yes, definitely worth it,' he grins to himself as he makes his way to his usual place in the corner.

He'd walked up to the table and smiled, and then told them that he'd give the "Candy Assed Joto" their best when he sees him that morning. He'd then explained that he didn't expect to hear or know about any more such conversations while they were within a five-mile radius of either of them.

"And trust me, I'll know," he'd snarled before smiling dangerously and turning away.

"You seem to be in a good mood this morning," Amelda notes as Kaiba sits beside him with his plate, a hot cup of black coffee already awaiting the CEO in its usual space.

"Do I? I suppose it's because we're finally going to get this idiotic contest started today," he gruffs.

"Uh huh." Amelda counters, sending a sly smile to Yami. They'd both seen the cool CEO stop by the table of homophobes. And they'd also seen the fear etched on every face there when Kaiba walked away.

Smiling down at his food, Amelda does his best not to start grinning like an idiot.

'I guess I won't have to mention the nasty little notes they've been leaving me,' he assumes. 'Then again, it could be amusing to see what he'd do to them.'

All of a sudden, he remembers the sight of Marik's limp body draped across the small patio table. Though he'd meant what he'd said to Kaiba that night, the thought that something he says or does could possibly initiate such a reaction from the brunet makes him sick to his stomach.

"Amelda?" Yami ventures, noting the redhead's distress, "Are you alright?"

"Not much of an appetite I guess," he swallows thickly, attempting to hide the tremor from his voice.

Neither Yami, nor Kaiba mention that he fails miserably.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dartz is shocked by what he sees in the photo. He'd always known that the CEO was good looking, but in these first photos of the competition, with very little make up and enhancements, Seto Kaiba is stunning!

"Herr Dartz, are you going to look at Herr Kaiba's photo all afternoon? We need to go through the rest of the pile and weed out the first seven dismissals," Siegfried von Schroeder interrupts his staring in exasperation.

"My apologies," the Atlantean smiles, passing the picture along. "I was simply taken aback by how photogenic Kaiba seems to be."

"Of course, Dartz," Pegasus smiles knowingly. "But don't be ashamed for admiring that one's ethereal beauty. I've been doing it for years."

"I'm sure you have. Let's continue shall we?" Dartz concurs.

At the end of the long table, archaeologist Arthur Hopkins sighs in defeat. When Pegasus contacted him a little over a month ago about participating in this farce, he'd turned him down flat. But then he'd gotten that hand-written note from his old friend and spoken to the 60-year-old, retired shopkeeper via Pegasus' speakerphone and he'd been forced to agree. Looking at the faces of those he knows so well scattered in front of him, knowing that their reasons for participation are similar to his, he shakes his head in despair.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"If I call your name, please return to the house, gather your belongings and use the open-ended airline ticket that you were given earlier to fly home," Dartz announces to the men gathered in the familiar hotel ballroom. "And don't even think of taking something that isn't yours or destroying anything in the house; members of my staff, as well as cameras to record your exit interviews, will be accompanying you.

"Okay, let's begin: Shadi, Esper Roba, Bandit Keith, Raphael, Rishid, Ryuzaki and Haga."

The ballroom erupts in protests from the expected sources.

"You cut me because of what happened at Duelist Kingdom, didn't you, Pegasus?" Bandit Keith snarls.

"We cut you because your picture and attitude were horrible!" Arthur Hopkins shouts back. He's never particularly liked that young man as a duelist anyway and after he found out that Keith is a mean-spirited little cheat, he's liked him even less!

The room erupts into laughter at Keith's sputtering in response to his smack down from the oldest member of the panel.

"We were robbed of our rightful chance!" Haga yells over the din.

"Yeah! Robbed! They threw us out of the house," Ryuzaki points accusingly at a stone-faced Otogi and those sitting with him, a forlorn Esper Roba, a smiling Honda and a glaring Noa.

"And we missed our ride to the photo shoot," Haga concludes angrily.

"Is this true?" Dartz questions the four men.

"Yes," Noa snips. "Those idiots argued with each other at every meal, every night before bed and most of the days we spent cooped up in that house. We just wanted a few minutes of peace and quiet!"

"And do the rest of you agree with Noa's assessment?" Dartz asks the room, receiving affirmative nods all around. "Well, then. Since your presence was so disruptive, it's perhaps fated that you missed the photo shoot and disqualified yourselves."

"What! That's ridiculous! Mark my words, I'll get you for this you un-dead freak!" Haga snaps at Noa as he and Ryuzaki are dragged from the room by the guards discreetly summoned by Pegasus.

"Bring it, you weasel!" Honda flings at their retreating forms, adding a rude gesture for good measure.

"Well, now, since that unpleasantness is behind us, shall we continue?" Pegasus prods.

"Yes, by all means, Pegasus," Dartz replies cordially. "The rest of you will have 10 minutes to say your good-byes and then we will resume."

"Where are they, Pegasus?" Yami yells over the returned din in the room. "You said that if we made it through the first round we'd get to see them, so where are they?"

"Yes, I did say that, didn't I?" Pegasus smiles sweetly. "All in good time, Pharaoh. All in good time. Perhaps after your meal this afternoon."

"NOW!" Yami snarls, the Sennen eye blazing on his forehead, wisps of shadow magic swirling at his feet, its power causing the tri-colored man's voice to reverberate with power.

Pegasus merely smiles wider. With seeming carelessness he flicks his hair back from his face, allowing the room a glimpse at the returned Millennium Eye.

"Or what, Pharaoh? You'll yell louder? After your afternoon snack; okay? Yugi-boy, do keep your other half under control. We wouldn't want him to get disqualified," he smiles condescendingly.

The shadows at Yami's feet flare up to strike until he feels four different hands on his shoulders and arms; Jou and Kaiba's on one side, Yugi and Amelda's on the other. It takes quite a bit of effort for him to calm down before he spins around and stalks out of the room, his four anchors behind him.

At Pegasus' display, Noa becomes surer than ever that he's going to sever ties with Dartz.

Seeking to ignore the commotion at the front of the room, Marik and Rishid slip into a quiet corner in the back to say their good-byes.

"Maybe I should get myself disqualified," Marik grumbles, dishearteningly.

"No, I want you to do your best," Rishid admonishes.

"But I don't know when I'll see you again. And without the Rod, I won't be able to talk to you either," he whines.

"Then I guess you'll have to learn to use the phone," his love smiles.

"Don't leave," Marik pleads. "We can figure something out."

"It's in the rules, Marik. I must go."

"Fuck the rules!" the platinum blonde sneers.

"Now, there's the Marik I know and love," Rishid smiles, pulling the other in for a passionate kiss.

Not caring about anything around them, Marik melts into the arms of his husband, wrapping his own arms around the other's neck and opening his mouth to Rishid's dominating tongue.

"That's what I call a good-bye kiss," Bakura whispers to Ryou, having spotted the two lovers when they first slipped away. Surreptitiously, he catches Otogi's eye, promising with a slight smile and nod something similar later that night.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"How the hell did he get the eye back?" Jou explodes once the five have left the room.

"I'm sure Dartz had a hand in that too," Yugi murmurs. "Bastard."

"We need to go back," Kaiba prods after a few minutes. "If he's telling the truth about us seeing them after we eat, we don't want to miss them."

"Not that I'll ever believe one word of that lying snake," Jou growls as they head back into the ballroom.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As the meal comes to a close, Pegasus smiles to himself, eager to see the reactions of his protégé and friends once their loved ones appear.

Bakura is the first to react when he looks up into the soulless eyes of Mokuba Kaiba wearing a waiter's uniform and clearing his table.

"Oh, Fuck!" He swears vehemently as he looks around the room to see Anzu, Shizuka and Ishizu's empty vessels doing the same, while Grandpa Motou's shell waits near the kitchen entrance with a large cart for all the dishes.

And for the first time in his life, Bakura knows a murderous rage on someone else behalf when he sees distraught tears streaming down Yugi's face.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Just own the words, not the folks.

**Title:** Duel Monsters Next Top Model (7/?)  
**Author:** Mishiko Shinsei  
**Rating:** NC-17 (eventually)  
**Pairing (s):** Various  
**Beta:** None  
**Spoilers:** Minor for the series  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters in Yu-gi-Oh, just the cracked-out stories I write about them.  
**Summary:** Pegasus is crazy. He draws two other crazies with him, Dartz and Siegfried von Schroeder. Together the three make our beloved duelists an offer they can't refuse. Warnings for crack! and slight OOC-ness.

**Week 1**

He's been awake for two days. Every since seeing the soulless eyes of his little brother, that haunting look that he'd vowed never to see again; that he'd promised Mokuba he'd never wear again. In the darkness behind him, he hears Yugi's choked sobs accompanied by Jou and Yami's soothing hushes and envies the smaller duelist's ability to release his anguish.

Tears were never in his nature to begin with and after Gozaboro, they've become nearly impossible. But, oh, how he wished for that temporary release right now.

"Come on," his bedmate whispers, pulling him out of the bed and out into the living room. He follows quietly, trying to understand how this strange relationship with Amelda came about. It's not like they have anything in common and the last time they spoke before their meeting again three weeks ago had been brief and forced.

"What do you want, Amelda?" he grumbles, flopping down on the large peach couch.

"I just thought it was best to get you out of that room for a while. It's not a positive atmosphere for you right now," he murmurs, flopping down beside Kaiba and leaning against him.

"What if I wanted to sleep?"

"You haven't slept since the cuts on Thursday," Amelda yawns and stretches.

"Are you trying to say that watching Bandit Keith get kicked out on his ass affected me that strongly," he quips.

Kaiba is startled to find Amelda's head in his lap, the redhead eyeing him strangely.

"Do you really want to talk about it?" the smaller man questions, piercing, silver eyes boring into his.

"No," he replies almost desperately, looking away. No, he didn't want to talk about seeing Mokuba like that again.

"Didn't think so," Amelda yawns again. Grabbing one of the small pillows nearby, the redhead puts it in Kaiba's lap under his head and closes his eyes.

"And what do you think you're doing?" Kaiba smirks down at the slim form.

"Getting comfortable, what's it look like?" Amelda yawns lightly. "Just because you can go days without sleep, doesn't mean that the rest of us can."

"You could have stayed in the bed you know," Kaiba points out.

"Your staring at the ceiling and thinking keeps me awake," the other quips sleepily.

"But my staring into a dark living room won't," Kaiba tries to comprehend.

"Don't know," Amelda yawns again, "but it was worth a try. Hey, I'm cold. Let me have that afghan on the back of the couch."

"And what about me?" Kaiba smirks in amusement, strangely grateful for Amelda's oddness as he covers the lightly shivering form.

"At least you have long sleeves," his unexpected charge murmurs, a light snore surprising Kaiba less than a minute later.

"I guess he really was tired," he mumbles, tucking the cover under the redhead's chin.

When he catches himself falling asleep about an hour later, he carefully gathers the heavily sleeping form in his arms and goes back to their bed.

"Maybe Amelda knew what he was talking about," he yawns into his pillow after tucking the redhead under the covers beside him.

Yami and the others aren't sure what to think when they find the two still sleeping late the next morning, Amelda with a peaceful smile on his face and Kaiba curled behind him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kaiba nuzzles the soft hair under his face and tightens his hold on the warm body beside him.

Wait. Warm body?

Awaking with a start, Kaiba finds his arms wrapped around a still lightly snoring Amelda.

'Oh, it's just Amelda,' his brain clarifies. At first he'd thought he had someone in his bed for real.

'Well, Amelda is for real,' his mind supplies.

"No, he's just Amelda," he murmurs, slipping his arms from around the prone form and heading to the bathroom.

Once his pressing needs have been taken care of, Kaiba sets about getting ready for the remainder of the day, already knowing by the expensive watch on his arm that they've missed breakfast. Instead he'll get a cup of coffee and then pull out his laptop to check his e-mails and get some work done like he usually does after breakfast.

Leaving Amelda contentedly sleeping in the cocoon of covers, he heads out of the room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"What the hell is this?" Kaiba mumbles under his breath as he picks up the large Funny Bunny greeting card from the end table.

He'd gotten his coffee and had sat down to open up his laptop when he'd spied the card leaning against the slim, peach lamp. Turning it over in his hand, he finds that the back of the card is indeed the back of the Funny Bunny.

"Why am I not surprised." he scoffs opening the card to see what's inside.

'_Just when you think you've got it made_

_And want to lay back and bask in the shade,_

_A giggling Bunny points and says, "Pooh!"_

"_I recommend a doo over for you!"_

_Pegasus_

_Be ready at 5:30 pm._

Re-reading the nonsensical rhyme a second and then a third time, Kaiba decides that he doesn't have that may hours in the day to decipher the cartoon psycho's babble. Tearing the offensive bunny in half, he tosses it across the room and gets back to work.

A few hours later, a well-rested Amelda picks up the two halves near the bottom of the staircase.

"I guess Kaiba got to you first, little bunny," he surmises, taking a seat on the bottom step and piecing the card back together. "Honestly Kaiba, don't you watch any American TV? This card is telling us that we're getting makeovers. Tonight!"

Scrambling up from the stair, Amelda makes the rounds to every room in the house and to the few duelists making use of the pool, letting them know that they're to be ready to go by 5:30 pm. The last person he finds is Kaiba, who's coming in the front door, dry cleaning bags in one arm and several express packages in the other.

"Where've you been?" Amelda inquires.

"I would think that's fairly obvious," Kaiba responds coolly, indicating his full arms.

Amelda grins.

"I guess that was a rather stupid question," he concedes.

"Yes it was," Kaiba tosses, heading back into their shared bedroom.

He puts away his dry cleaning, hanging some and folding others into closet drawers. He then turns to gather his packages from Kaiba Corp. and go back into the living room, planning to open them and continue working, but finds Amelda blocking his path.

"Is there some reason that you're violating my personal space, Amelda," he drawls.

"You didn't mind before," the redhead pouts.

"I was sleep deprived and didn't know what I was doing," he retorts smoothly.

"You just can't help being a bastard, can you?" the other laughs lightly.

"Any more than you can help being a princess," Kaiba teases.

"Princess!" Amelda screeches. "I'll show you princess!"

He chases Kaiba around the room, beating him over the head with the Funny Bunny card and punching him in the arms.

"You even hit like a princess," the brunet laughs, grabbing a cutely snarling Amelda by the arms once he's tired of being pummeled.

"Well, well. What do we have here?" a grinning Valon taunts from the bedroom doorway.

Instantly, Kaiba sobers and pushes Amelda away from him.

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with," Kaiba replies icily, gathering his packages and laptop and heading back into the living room.

"Was it somethin' I said?" he smiles at the glaring Amelda.

"Have I told you lately that you're a prick, Valon?" he sneers.

"Nope. You've been neglecting your duty in that area, mate," the aussie quips.

Pushing the armor duelist out of the bedroom, Amelda slams the door in the laughing man's face.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mako Tsunami is almost vibrating with excitement. A makeover! He's never been "made over" before. He's looked almost exactly the same since he was 6 years old! Now, at 22, he's going to get a whole new look! Apprehensively, he clutches the end of his waist length hair.

"I hope they don't cut off too much," he mumbles.

Beside him, Valon, Leon and Noa discuss what they think might happen with their makeovers.

"I'm tellin' ya that they're gonna change that color, mate," Valon nods to Noa. "Green hair is definitely wonky."

"And spikes are all the rage?" Noa retorts.

"I'm sure I'm in for a snip here or there," Valon shrugs.

"My hair's not a great color either," Leon inserts.

Noa and Valon both study him for a moment before Noa offers an opinion.

"Actually, it's an interesting color. They'll probably just cut it a bit, but otherwise leave it as is."

"Thanks, Noa! Maybe Valon is wrong and they'll leave your color alone too!" he beams.

"Not a chance," the aussie smirks.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Just own the words, not the folks.

**Title:** Duel Monsters Next Top Model (8/?)  
**Author:** Mishiko Shinsei  
**Rating:** NC-17 (eventually)  
**Pairing (s):** Various  
**Beta:** None  
**Spoilers:** Minor for the series  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters in Yu-gi-Oh, just the cracked-out stories I write about them.  
**Summary:** Pegasus is crazy. He draws two other crazies with him, Dartz and Siegfried von Schroeder. Together the three make our beloved duelists an offer they can't refuse. Warnings for crack! and slight OOC-ness.

**Week 2**

Marik plays with his new doo, really liking how his hair turned out, even if he had to do it himself.

"Idiot stylists! Wimps, all of them! So, I growled a little. I wasn't gonna really cut off that guy's dick and feed it to my hamster if he messed up my hair. I don't even have a fuckin' hamster!" he scoffs.

Seeing a glint out the corner of his eye, he quickly whips his head around and glares. Taking the hint, the roving cameraman roves somewhere else. Smiling in satisfaction, he goes back to spiking out his short black tresses.

In the distance, he hears the crash of yet another camera being destroyed and shakes his head. When will they ever learn?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Didn't I tell you to keep those things away from me," the newly black-haired CEO snarls after smashing yet another roving camera. The wielder of said camera quickly picks up the pieces and scampers off.

"Seto, you can't keep destroying their cameras," Amelda admonishes, sweeping his now shoulder-length red mane into a low ponytail.

"I can and will continue to do so if they don't stay away from me. And when the hell did I give to permission to call me Seto?" he grumbles.

"Umm...now?" Amelda proposes slyly.

"No. It's Kaiba to you too," he snaps.

"Bummer," the redhead pouts.

Jounouchi turns a chair around next to Amelda and flops into it backward, his newly long head of blonde hair flowing back from his face and halfway down his back.

"So what're you guys up to," the blonde prods.

"Minding our own business, Mutt," Kaiba retorts as he turns a page of the Financial Times. "Maybe you should try it."

"I'm actually glad to find that you're still a prick, Moneybags. It makes this whole thing seem less surreal," he sighs.

"Who's been teaching you such words, Mutt?" Kaiba teases.

"Hey! I'm in college, I'll have you know!" Jounouchi retorts indignantly.

"Really?" Kaiba flips down his paper in surprise. "What are you studying?"

"Business Administration. I wanted to be able to help Yugi out with the shop," Jounouchi smiles proudly.

"Hn. I'd have thought you'd be studying to be a dog catcher," he smirks, going back to his reading.

"Kaiba..." Jounouchi growls.

"You really can't help being a bastard," Amelda interjects.

"Whatever, Princess," Kaiba tosses.

Amelda kicks him lightly under the table and Kaiba grunts in offense. Jounouchi watches their interaction in amazement, wondering what's going on between the two. Before he can ask, the former Pharaoh and his counterpart join them.

"I hate this," Yugi complains, plucking at his trimmed black coif and trimmed blonde bangs blown back from his face.

"I LOVE this," Yami counters, running slim fingers through his much shorter, dyed red hair, his trademark blonde spikes streaking like lightening flat against the top and sides of his head, short blonde bangs lightly framing his face.

"It suits you," Kaiba compliments, momentarily entranced by how much his rival's crimson orbs now stand out on his face.

"What? Moneybags gave someone a complement? That black dye must have seeped into your brain," Jounouchi chuckles.

"Bite me, Mutt," Kaiba smirks, returning to his paper.

"Hey all!" Honda greets, steeping up to the table, his shorter brown hair flowing in soft waves around his face.

"Hey, Honda," comes an almost universal reply. Kaiba merely grunts his greeting, secretly hoping that they'll all go away.

"We got another card," Honda waves the large Toon World greeting card in the air.

"What's that crackpot got ta say now," Jounouchi grumbles.

By way of response, Honda reads the short verse and the attached information with it.

_When you're all alone and not sure what to do,_

_And a happy little Toon book's just not right for you,_

_Don't cover your head and try to hide,_

_Just join me for a cycle ride!_

_Pegasus_

_Be ready at 8:00 am sharp!_

"What the fuck does that mean," Kaiba growls, ready to reach over the table and shred the ugly, crappy card.

"Don't know, but I guess we'll find out tomorrow," Honda shrugs. "I gotta go let the others know. Later."

"Later, Honda!" Yugi waves, his actions echoed by most of the others at the table. Kaiba doesn't look up from his paper.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You look like a boy," Bakura grumbles about his lover's short, auburn locks. Otogi's long black mane is now a softly feathered auburn that barely brushes the nape of his neck.

"News flash, love. I am a boy," Otogi smiles.

"You know what I mean," he mumbles, though he can't help admiring how the length and coloring bring out the other's gorgeous emerald eyes.

"It looks like they didn't do much to your hair," the dice master intones, running his fingers through Bakura's soft, white waves.

"Yeah. That's 'cause the guy who did me had just done Kaiba and Marik. Well, tried to do Marik. His hands were shakin' the whole time he was trimming my hair, so I'm surprised that it doesn't look like I went through a weed whacker," Bakura laughs.

"Ah! Well, that explains it. Yami said that the plan was for Kaiba to go blonde, you know, because of his blue eyes. But when the guy told Kaiba that, he threatened the man with decapitation!" Otogi relates.

"Heh. That sounds like Kaiba. I think the black looks better on him anyway."

"I don't know, he'd probably have been a really hot blonde," Otogi smirks.

Bakura rolls Otogi onto his back on the bed.

"I'm the only person you should think looks hot," the former Tomb Robber growls, playfully nuzzling his lover's neck.

"Mm. Maybe you should remind me, 'Kura," Otogi purrs as Bakura's hand slides under his lover's shirt to tweak a nipple.

A knock on the bedroom door halts both their movements.

"Yeah?" Otogi calls.

"It's Honda. We got a new card," the person replies.

"Later, Babe," Bakura whispers, lightly kissing the green-eyed man on the lips before using the power of the Ring to disappear.

"Come in, Honda," Otogi calls sitting up on the bed.

At the bottom of the front stairs, Bakura releases the Ring's invisible mode. On the patio behind him he catches the sound of another camera meeting its demise followed by a chorus of, "Kaiba!" from the "Kaiba-tachi." It's what Bakura has begun to call the CEO's little 'fan club' of Amelda, Yami, Yugi and Jounouchi .

"Man, he'd truly kick my ass if he ever heard me call them that," he snickers, heading into the kitchen for an afternoon snack.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Malik settles into his hotel room a few miles from the house where Marik is staying with the other contestants. He still has his open-ended ticket to fly home, but he decided instead to stay close to his other half.

"I know he's going stir crazy right about now. Not to mention missing Rishid like crazy," he mumbles to himself.

When the wielder of the Rod made his threat to the hair stylist, Malik was sure that he'd be kicked out immediately. But instead, the larger man took matters into his own hands, sheering off the bulk of his platinum blonde spikes before randomly picking a color to dye his newly shorn locks. Malik has to admit, the end result was quite spectacular.

"Rishid is going to totally flip!" he laughs to himself, as he plays with his own slightly shorter platinum blonde mane. "But I'm glad they didn't do too much with mine."

Deciding to act on a crazy idea, he calls Rishid to first tell him that he's out of the competition and then suggests he come stay at the hotel too. He then calls Marik on his cell phone and invites him out for dinner the next night. His other half promises to meet him at the restaurant Malik's chosen at 8 o'clock.

"But instead I'll have Rishid there to meet me at the same time," he grins, planning to rent another hotel room for the night knowing that his counterpart and his husband will probably be screwing all over the place.

Happy about his good deed, he picks up the room service menu to order in.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Fuck! Couldn't you have found a better spot?" the taller of the two whispers, hard-pressed to get out of his clothes in the confines of the dark closet.

"It's either here or on the living room couch, mate," the slightly shorter man responds.

"Fuck this! C'mon!"

Swinging the closet door open, he drags his companion out the front door to the empty limos.

"No effin' way, blondie!"

"It's this or celibacy," the other growls, using a hanger from the front hall closet to pop the lock.

"Fuck celibacy," the other mumbles, checking his robe pocket for the lube before climbing in and closing the door behind him.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Just own the words, not the folks

**Title:** Duel Monsters Next Top Model (9/?)  
**Author:** Mishiko Shinsei  
**Rating:** NC-17 (eventually)  
**Pairing (s):** Various  
**Beta:** None  
**Spoilers:** Minor for the series  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters in Yu-gi-Oh, just the cracked-out stories I write about them.  
**Summary:** Pegasus is crazy. He draws two other crazies with him, Dartz and Siegfried von Schroeder. Together the three make our beloved duelists an offer they can't refuse. Warnings for crack! and slight OOC-ness.

**Week 3 – Part 1**

Leon packs the last of his belongings, aware of the camera recording his every movement.

He isn't sad really. It was fun while it lasted.

"If only Sieg wasn't forcing so many of the others to compete," he murmurs.

"You'll have to speak up, kid," the nameless cameraman prods.

"Oh, I was just saying that it was fun while it lasted," the 18-year-old lies convincingly. "And besides, I did get this great haircut, so that was cool."

Smiling brightly, he uses his fingers to flip the layered hair from his face, shaking his hair so that it brushes his shoulders at its longest point.

"I wish everyone remaining good luck," he declares with a grin.

'Well, maybe not Marik,' he thinks to himself as he drags his suitcase behind him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Yami studies his winning photo from last week.

'I look pretty good on a motorcycle,' he smiles to himself. 'When we get back, maybe I'll look into buying one. Grandpa will probably have a fit!'

At the thought of Grandpa Motou, his mind is filled with the image of the older man's empty, violet eyes.

Disgusted, he tears the photo in half.

"Yami? You okay?" Yugi inquires beside him. The two had decided to make use of the small table on the patio outside their window just to sit and relax.

"I'm fine, Yugi. I just forgot for a moment why we're here," he frowns.

"It's okay. You're a competition junkie. I know that you'd never really forget," Yugi smiles, touching his other's hand lightly.

"I guess you're right," Yami sighs. "I do sometimes lose myself in competition."

"Especially if Kaiba is involved," Yugi quips.

"Yes. Especially if Kaiba is involved," he affirms.

Yugi then dares to breach the subject that he knows has been on all of their minds for the past three weeks.

"So, what do you think is going on with Kaiba and Amelda?" he asks calmlynoticing that Yami stiffens at the inquiry.

"I don't know. Maybe they're a couple now," the other replies distantly.

Yugi presses his lips together in concern.

"No, I don't think so," Yugi offers into the uncomfortable silence. "I think maybe they're just friends. Though I'm not sure how that happened, since they're like night and day."

"Opposites attract, Yugi. And I don't believe that they are as much 'just friends' as you think. You haven't seen how Kaiba behaves around Amelda. And he smiles for him. Honestly smiles! I even caught them laughing together last night just before bed!"

"But, Yami, that doesn't mean..."

"They sleep wrapped in each other's arms!" Yami practically yells in Yugi's face, his own a mask of anger and hurt.

"Yami…" Yugi reaches out to soothe his counterpart, belatedly realizing that he probably should have kept his mouth shut about Kaiba and Amelda.

"It's fine, Yugi," Yami pulls away and stands up. "I'm going for a walk. I'll be back in a few hours."

Frowning sadly, Yugi watches him go.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Let me just get my wallet," Mako calls heading upstairs to the room he shares with Valon and Noa. Now that Leon is gone, maybe one of the three of them could move in with Marik.

'Or not,' he thinks to himself, remembering how unsettled their second resident psycho has been of late. 'Maybe tonight's outing will help him too.'

Yami's well-time suggestion at dinner of a club outing had been very well received by the bulk of those still participating in the contest. They'd been several blocks away when Mako realized that his wallet, with his ID still inside, was sitting on the dresser in his room.

Reaching for the doorknob, he hears muted voices. Figuring it must be Valon watching TV, he opens the door and goes in. Flipping on the light, he's surprised to find Valon and Jonouchi in Valon's bed, obviously engaged in carnal pleasures.

"Ya ever hear of knockin', mate?" Valon questions breathlessly, the blonde below him frozen in shock.

"My apologies," Mako mumbles, averting his eyes and quickly grabbing his wallet. He flicks the light back off and locks the door before closing it on his way out.

All the way to the club, Bakura keeps asking him why his face is so red.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Amelda is having a great time at the club, though he's unable to coax Kaiba out onto the dance floor. Not that it matters since Kaiba's look-alike Noa has been able to match him step for step. He grins at the sight of the normally placid, immaculately groomed, older Kaiba seriously working a pair of tight black jeans and a light green tank, sweat plastering the edges of his now dark brown hair to his face.

"Go, Noa! Go, Noa!" he taunts, laughing heartily at the other's antics as the taller male grabs Yami's hands and spins him in a circle. The once tri-colored man whoops with laughter, somehow managing to grab Amelda's hand and pull him into the circle too. Not too long after, the DJ switches to something slower and they break apart, Noa heading to the bar for some water, offering to get one for Amelda as well.

"Oh yes, please," he pants. "I'll be over at that table in the corner."

Staggering away to where Kaiba is sitting, he forgets that it wouldn't be a good thing for the two Kaiba's to interact, since the now raven-haired CEO consideres Noa an enemy. He flops into the booth next to Kaiba, leaning back on the other's shoulder.

"I take it that you're having fun?" Kaiba smirks.

"Loads," Amelda gasps. "Are you sure you won't join me?"

"I'm sure."

"Spoilsport," the redhead grumbles.

"Oh!" Noa starts, once the flashing lights of the club settle and he can see who Amelda is leaning on.

"What the hell do you want?" Kaiba snarls at his stepbrother, all traces of his openness and familiarity with Amelda gone as if it had never been.

"Keep your shirt on, Kaiba!" Noa snarls right back. "I was just bringing Amelda some water!"

He tosses a small bottle to Amelda and storms off.

The icy glare Kaiba then levels at Amelda takes the redhead's breath away.

"You're spending time with him, now?" Kaiba glowers.

"W-What are you talking about?" Amelda leans away from the enraged CEO, honestly afraid of him for the first time since they became bedmates.

"You know how I feel about that bastard! Why would you have anything to do with him?" he snarls.

"It's a club! We were dancing! And since when do you have the right to tell me what to do anyway?" Amelda yells.

"You're right," Kaiba snaps coldly. "I don't."

The CEO then gets up from the booth and heads out of the club leaving a completely dumbfounded Amelda behind him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ryou opens the Blue-Eyes Toon Dragon card and starts reading.

_When you're all alone and feeling Blue_

_Your heart's a Dragon, and you're not sure what to do,_

_Don't you fear, don't lose your mind,_

'_Cause ready or not, it's Action time!_

_Pegasus_

_Be ready at 2:00 pm _

"Thank Kami," Honda groans. He and Yami had challenged Ryou and Yugi to a drinking contest last night and lost spectacularly. He knows there is no way in hell that he will be able to move with any strength until late tomorrow morning. As it is, he's barely holding his head up tonight for dinner!

'I can't believe those guys drank me and Yami under the table like that,' he muses in disbelief.

Taking a sip from his ice-cold water he glances around his chosen table. Because he was so late for dinner, he just plopped down anywhere instead of at his usual place next to Jou at the big table in the corner.

He's actually quite surprised to see a solemn Amelda sitting across from him, when the whole house knows that he and Kaiba are in each other's hip pockets. Next to Amelda is Valon, whose normally spiky, long, brown hair now flows flat down the aussie's back, blonde and auburn highlights making the 20-year-old look about 16 when it's pulled back from his face. Valon's been trying to engage Amelda in conversation for the last 20 minutes, but the redhead's mind is obviously elsewhere.

'Probably with Kaiba,' Honda assumes, as said CEO hasn't had one meal at his usual table all day.

"I gotta say that I like your new doo, Ryou," Valon complements.

"Thank you," Ryou replies shyly. "Though they didn't do much, just a trim and some layering."

"Well, it looks good at any rate. Don't you think so, 'Melda?" he prods the sullen redhead.

"Hmm? Oh, yes, it does look nice," Amelda agrees glancing at Ryou for a moment before looking back at the now cold cup of tea in front of him.

"That's it!" Valon declares, hopping up from the table and dragging Amelda with him.

"Hey!" the redhead protests, "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm tired o' you mopin'," he grumbles, pulling Amelda through the living room and down the hall to the big bedroom on the first floor.

"Now get in there an' talk to him," he orders quietly, shoving Amelda in the direction of the bedroom door.

"You're not the boss of me," Amelda grumbles.

"Git!" Valon snips, swatting Amelda on the butt for good measure.

"Hey! That hurt, you prick!" Amelda snaps back.

"Whatever! Now do like I told you," Valon calls over his shoulder as he heads back out to finish eating.


	10. Chapter 10

**Title:** Duel Monsters Next Top Model (10/?)  
**Author:** Mishiko Shinsei  
**Rating:** NC-17 (eventually)  
**Pairing (s):** Various  
**Beta:** None  
**Spoilers:** Minor for the series  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters in Yu-gi-Oh, just the cracked-out stories I write about them.  
**Summary:** Pegasus is crazy. He draws two other crazies with him, Dartz and Siegfried von Schroeder. Together the three make our beloved duelists an offer they can't refuse. Warnings for crack! and slight OOC-ness.

Week 3 – Part 2

"What?" Kaiba barks in response to Amelda's knock.

"It's your princess," Amelda replies solemnly.

Several moments pass before Kaiba opens the door, momentarily locking eyes with Amelda before walking back to sit at the ironwork table holding his open laptop.

"I'm sorry," the redhead intones. "I shouldn't have brought him over to our table."

"No, you shouldn't have," Kaiba retorts, rapidly typing on the laptop.

"Well, what about you?" Amelda prods.

"What about me?" Kaiba drawls.

"Don't you think you should apologize to me too?" the other snips, his anger starting to rise.

"For what?"

"For being a fucking bastard!" Amelda yells.

Kaiba looks up, cocking an eyebrow in amusement.

"I thought you liked me being a bastard," he smirks.

The redhead sputters in indignation a moment before launching himself at Kaiba with a yell. The CEO slides from the chair, laughing at the smaller man's attempts to punish him with punches to his arms.

"And you still hit like a princess," he snickers, wrapping the flustered redhead in a restrictive embrace.

His shock when Amelda leans up and presses their lips together lasts only a moment before he returns and deepens the impassioned kiss. When they pull apart a few minutes later, they are both flushed and panting.

"Wow," Amelda breathes, licking his lips. "I've wanted to do that like forever."

"Did you now?" Kaiba grins at him.

"Didn't you?" Amelda raises an eyebrow in inquiry.

Kaiba's smile fades and he steps back.

"Kaiba?" Amelda frowns in confusion.

"I can't give you what you want, Amelda," he murmurs, turning away.

"I don't understand," the other imparts.

"I'm only here for Mokuba. Once this is all done and he's free…" Kaiba's voice trails off.

"I see," Amelda nods in comprehension.

Kaiba goes back to his laptop to finish working, intent on ridding his mind of the pleasant memory of someone other than Mokuba honestly wanting him solely for himself and not for who he is in the world and what he represents.

Slim arms wrapping around his neck from behind several minutes later startle him from whatever Kaiba Corp. report he's reading.

"So," the redhead exhales, "Does this mean you'll be even more of a bastard now?"

"I don't know," he smirks, glad that at least their friendship remains intact, however fleeting it may be. "Could you be any more of a princess?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Marik looks sadly into the camera lens.

"I miss him," the least sane Ishtar admits. "I just saw him last night and I miss him already."

With a sigh he leans back on the peach loveseat in the game room.

"Who'd have thought that I'd turn out to be the sappy, lovesick fool?" he mumbles, tossing random breakables into the elaborate fireplace nearby. "I can't wait for this crap to be over so I can go home."

With a far more serious face, he looks back into the camera.

"I can't even say for sure whether I even care if Ishizu goes free or not," he whispers. "I just need to be back with Rishid."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Croquet throws up his hands in exasperation.

No matter how he tells Kaiba to pose, the stubborn CEO does whatever the hell he wants and his pictures still come out spectacularly!

On the other hand, that ocean boy, Mako-something, follows every direction to the letter and his pictures seem to be getting worse!

"I still say they should have simply cut all of his hair off. Having that flat, black mane to work with really hurts him," he murmurs turning to direct his newest problem child, Kaiba's eternal rival, Yami.

Croquet recalls the first time he saw the ocean duelist's re-made hair; he thought then that it was a bad weave simply being used for the shoot. The over-done mullet hung much too long in back and had absolutely no shape at all in the front. And when they tried to "fix" it by cutting layers into the top that just made it even worse! Pegasus' right-hand man, turned artistic director for the contest, had begged the stylists to simply chop the guy's hair off to his shoulders, suggesting that it would give him a "surfer" look since he already has a very deep tan, but they'd ignored him.

As Yami's session winds down and they start to set up for the next duelist's action shots, Croquet admits to himself that if he had known his boss' role for him in this competition, he'd have seriously considered quitting.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Glancing briefly at the cameraman to his left, Ryou sighs lightly as he sits down by the pool. Lazily kicking his feet in the water, he wonders about his course of action regarding Bakura's relationship with Otogi. Shouldn't he tell Bakura that he knows and that it's okay with him?

"Maybe not," he asserts to himself. "He's so private about things like that. I wouldn't want him to think that I was spying on him."

"Wouldn't want who to think you were spying on them?" Jou inquires, taking up residence next to Ryou and sipping on a tall glass of lemonade."

Momentarily startled by the blonde's appearance, Ryou turns back to the water with a shake of his head.

"It's nothing," he offers by way of a reply.

"Uh huh," Jounouchi scoffs.

"Say Jou," Ryou begins casually after a short silence, "Are you and Valon a real couple or just using each other for relief?"

Jounouchi sputters out the lemonade in his mouth and nearly drops the glass.

"W-what?" he stammers, face suddenly warm from more than just the sun.

"I said –"

"I fuckin' heard what you said, Ryou!" he yells.

"Sorry," the white-haired man shrugs.

"Kami, Ryou! You can't just ask a guy that out of the blue! Besides," he pauses to lean forward and lower his voice," how the hell do you know about that anyway?"

"Umm, Jou…everybody knows. The house isn't that big. And, well, you're kind of…loud," Ryou explains.

"Oh, Kami, just shoot me now," Jounouchi mumbles, his face bypassing pink and roaring straight into crimson.

"Bang," a voice mocks behind him.

Jounouchi turns to see a smugly smiling Noa Kaiba standing beside him. Involuntarily, his eyes travel over the tall, swim trunks clad form, the sudden tightness of his jean shorts telling him just how much he's enjoying the view. Tearing his gaze away, he puts down the glass of lemonade and covers his face with his hands.

"I'm just a sex-crazed maniac," he whispers, shaking his head.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Tell me again why we're moving outta here?" Jounouchi grumbles to Honda as they pack up their things.

"The cartoon loon thinks that since there are only twelve of us left, we should be in a smaller place," Honda explains for the billionth time.

"But I really like it here," Amelda grumbles, fully engaged in packing as well.

"Then stay. No one will miss you," Kaiba smirks.

"Bastard," the redhead tosses.

"Princess," Kaiba lobs back.

Angrily Yami zips up his suitcase and stalks from the room, Yugi's concerned gaze on his back.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You've been awfully quiet lately, Pharaoh," Bakura taunts as they make their way to their new abode in the SUV stretch limo. "Got something on your mind?"

"Even if I did, what's makes you think I'd tell you?" Yami glares.

Bakura frowns in concern. That isn't Yami's usual response. The words and the glare are, sure, but not the anger, or the hurt…No, something else has his normally unflappable Pharaoh off-kilter. Glancing over to Kaiba sitting with Amelda as the redhead chats amiably with Yugi and Ryou, he's certain that he knows what it is.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Just own the words, not the folks.

Week 4 – Part 1

"He's in love with you, you know," Yugi imparts.

Kaiba looks up at the shorter duelist from his laptop and the faxes and printouts scattered around him. Though packing and unpacking had been a pain in the ass, one positive side of the move is that every room came equipped with a 4-in-one scanner/fax/printer/copy machine and Kaiba's been getting three times more work done than he had before. Few have dared venture into the room when the CEO is in full work-mode, so Kaiba's a bit startled to see Yugi standing not three feet away from him.

"What the hell do you want, Yugi?" Kaiba glowers, turning back to his work. "I'm in the middle of some things right now. Come back later when I'll have time for you."

"No, Kaiba," Yugi grimaces. "I need to talk to you now."

"Then talk!" Kaiba whirls back around, crossing his arms in exasperation. "I don't have all day."

"He's in love with you, Kaiba. He has been for years. And seeing you with Amelda is breaking him. I tried to tell him that you two were just friends, but…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" the CEO interjects. "And what business is it of yours who my friends are?"

"For the love of…" Yugi mutters angrily, reeling himself in before he tells the arrogant prick what he really thinks of him at the moment.

"Well, speak up, shrimp! Like I said, I don't have all day!" Kaiba pushes.

"Yami's in love with you, Kaiba!" he yells. "Ra knows why, but he is! He won't believe me when I tell him that you and Amelda aren't together, so I was hoping you could tell him yourself. Please! I'm not suggesting that you return his feelings, but he's barely holding it together right now and just that knowledge would help him a lot. I'm sure of it! Please, Kaiba!"

"And if Amelda and I are together?" the former brunet presents easily.

Yugi hangs his head.

"Well, then I guess knowing for sure would be better than his random speculations," the shorter duelist concedes.

After several moments of tense silence, Kaiba turns back to his work.

"I have a lot of work to do, Yugi. I'm sure you can see yourself out," he throws over his shoulder.

"Right. Sure. Sorry to have bothered you. After all, why should you care about someone who's saved your life several times over, including from running yourself into a wall in your nice, expensive car," Yugi replies sarcastically, before turning swiftly and exiting the room.

Kaiba doesn't respond to the other's jab. Instead he stares out the window over the small desk that he's taken over, deep in thought.

He's been clear on his preferences since the end of Battle City. By the beginning of the KC Grand Prix he'd known for sure how he felt about Yami, but hesitated to say anything. And then…then it was too late. The former Pharaoh is a prize he'd given up attaining sometime near graduation, after witnessing the other's amorous clench with a female classmate.

Kaiba closes his eyes a moment, remembering the exact instant he accepted that his love would forever be unrequited.

And now to hear that Yami is in love with him… He's not sure what to do with that information, if anything. Especially with all that's going on around them.

A glint out the corner of his eye alerts him to the cameraman's presence.

Kaiba's evil sneer is the last thing that camera records. Ever.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Marik glances over his shoulder at the angry, sulking duelist stretched out on the bed behind him. He wants to tell the haughty Pharaoh to get lost, that he wants the room all to himself, but something in those furious, crimson orbs warns him to leave the other be. Especially since the now crimson-headed Game King is in possession of both the Puzzle and the Rod.

But, damn it! He'd really wanted a room alone so that no one would know about his occasional lonely tears.

"I miss him," he sighs again.

He hears the other sit up and braces for the jeer he knows is coming.

"I'm sure he misses you to," the Pharaoh offers supportively instead. "It must be nice to have someone you care for so deeply who cares for you in return."

Marik turns to straddle the desk chair backward.

"Aren't you and Kaiba like that?" he inquires seriously. It's obvious to him that the Pharaoh has had a thing for the Priest practically since they met each other in this life.

"No," Yami laughs humorlessly, looking away. "He's obviously quite taken with Amelda."

Marik furrows his brows at that statement. Bakura and Ryou had said that too, and that idiot Honda. Was he the only one who could see that Kaiba was only using the redhead like a security blanket and would probably never speak to him again after this whole ordeal?

'I guess it's up to me to set him straight, then,' he concludes, not liking this suddenly compassionate side rearing its ugly head.

'I'll go get drunk and beat up some people later,' he resolves. 'That'll make me feel better.'

"You're wrong," Marik asserts to his obviously despondent roommate. "Amelda's just something for Kaiba to cling to at the moment. He doesn't have any real feelings for the guy. He'll probably never even speak to him again once this is all done."

"Why would you say that," Yami narrows his eyes at him.

"Duh! It's obvious to those of us who have eyes. I mean the guy still calls him Kaiba! If they were playing 'hide the salami', I'm sure he'd have graduated to 'Seto' by now," Marik scoffs.

"Kaiba's a very private person," Yami asserts. "He may have insisted that Amelda not call him that in public."

"Right. And does Amelda strike you as someone who does what he's told?"

"No," Yami mumbles in admission.

"So, now that you know, what are you waiting for?" the other prods.

"Grandpa, Anzu, Mokuba, Shizuka and Ishizu to come home," Yami replies soberly, reminding Marik again that…

"Ra, I miss him," he sighs despondantly, turning around in the chair and laying his head on the desk.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

By the time Jounouchi closes the dresser drawer on the last of his clothes, he's decided that his fling with Valon is just that, a fling. At one point, he may have thought it to be more, but Ryou's question last week really brought the truth home.

"That and Noa's hot body," he mumbles to himself, partially scheming about how he was gonna get with that! "If he even swings my way," he sighs.

Well, whatever he plans to do with Noa, he certainly can't attempt it if he's still hooked up with Valon.

"First things first," he affirms, "So I might as well get it over with. After dinner of course."

Quickly, he makes his way down the stairs to the center courtyard of the stone castle for dinner. A castle. Jounouchi shakes his head. Trust that toon freak to put them in a smaller version of the Duelist Kingdom castle. After he pounds that guy for kidnapping his friends and family and forcing him to participate in this farce, he'll beat the crap out of him again for housing them in a spot that would bring up nothing but bad memories for most of the group!

Yugi went to the Shadow Realm there, Yami almost killed Kaiba…Fuck! Kaiba had his soul stolen! And before that, he had to watch as Pegasus paraded his little brother's empty shell around like a toy!

"Just like he did at that luncheon," Jounouchi abruptly remembers.

Sympathetically, he flicks his eyes in the direction of the always so composed CEO sitting, as usual, at the largest table. As hard as it had been for him to see Shizuka and the others wandering around, he can't imagine what it must have been like for Kaiba to have known first hand what they were going through and then knowing that his little brother was experiencing that horror for a second time!

Looking down at the plate in his hands, he drops it on the buffet table and heads back up to his room. Suddenly, he's not all that hungry anymore.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Pegasus smiles as he pens his latest rhyme for the contestants. Inside the large Toon Gemini Elves greeting card he writes:

_When you're beside yourself with stress and worry_

_And the world has you going all day in a hurry_

_Look to the heavens and their sparkly glow_

_Which way do you turn? The stars will know!_

_Pegasus_

_Be ready at 8:00 am sharp._

With twelve left, he'd decided that the next shoot would be of them made up as the 12 houses of the American Zodiac. Croquet had assured him that he'd be able to have all of the photographs done in enough time for the three masterminds, Dartz, Siegfried and Pegasus, to have a late dinner if they started by 9:30 am. With that knowledge, Pegasus surmised that an 8:00 am pickup would give his loyal servant plenty of time to capture those beauties on film.

Though Kaiba-boy remains his favorite!

"What fun! Now, who should be dressed as what?" he giggles maniacally to himself.

Gleefully, he goes about his business, matching photos to Astrological signs, oblivious to his soulless pets sitting in a row on the floor behind him and the lone tear sliding down Mokuba Kaiba's face.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Just own the words, not the folks.

**Week 4 – Part 2**

"Well, here we are at the end of our forth week of Duel Monsters Next Top Model! I trust you are all enjoying yourselves?" Pegasus lilts, his frilly, sunshine yellow shirt making his lime green suit look even more ridiculous.

A few of the remaining duelists nod their head in agreement.

"Excellent! Well, I know you've heard it all before, but let's go over our fabulous prizes once again! The winner of this contest will, first and foremost, earn the right to say that he is the best looking man in all of Duel Monsters! The rest of the paltry prizes are as follows: a choice between 2 million American dollars and a 2 percent share of stock in Industrial Illusions, either quite a lucrative offer; a **Y**500,000 wardrobe designed by the top designer in Japan, and two years of Duel Monsters themed calendars starring the winning duelist and his choice of monsters," the holder of the Millennium Eye claps his hands together gleefully.

Narrowing his eyes at the glowers being thrown his way by the 'Kaiba-tachi', he giggles to himself about having plucked that endearment from the Tomb Robbers mind at the shoot yesterday, his smile turns slightly sinister.

"Of course, some of you are participating for our bonus prizes as well," he smirks.

Amelda is the first to hold Yami back before Yugi grabs his counterpart's other arm. Kaiba doesn't move, instead continuing to plan the silver-haired menace's demise, both financially and physically.

"Now, we will proceed with your individual evaluations. But, before that, I'd like to introduce you all to our guest judge for the week!" Pegasus stands, gesturing to the curtains on the left side of the platform, next to the empty seat on the panel.

"Great. Another one," Bakura scoffs. The last time they'd had a "guest judge" they'd been subjected to the nonsensical ramblings of that head-case Bonz from Duelist Kingdom. "I wonder what idiot they're gonna pull out of the woodwork now," he murmurs.

The person who steps from behind the curtain knocks even the former Tomb Robber back a few paces; Gozaboro Kaiba.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Noa Kaiba gags for a moment, and then his breath escapes him in a rush as he passes out cold. Chaos erupts around his fallen form as first Valon, Honda and Otogi come to his aid while on the other side of the group, Amelda, Jou, Yami and Yugi move as one to tackle a rampaging Seto mere inches from using a commandeered camera to murder both Dartz and Pegasus. On the other end of the judge's table, a terrified Siegfried von Schroeder and a stunned Arthur Hopkins scramble to get out of the way. The temporarily re-incarnated Gozaboro Kaiba stands his ground, smiling in sick amusement at the ferocity of his prized creation, Seto.

In the end, it takes four very large security guards to restrain the snarling and murderous CEO. At Pegasus' urgings, his favorite duelist is dragged from the room screaming obscenities and promises to kill Pegasus. Following behind the raging 19-year-old are the four duelists who have become closest to him over the last six weeks, Amelda, Yami, Jou and Yugi.

On a stretcher in the next room Noa Kaiba slowly regains consciousness as Croquet waits for the ambulance that he called as a precaution.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Well, that didn't work out as planned," Pegasus pouts, fanning himself with a large, feathery fan a few hours later as he and his cohorts enjoy an exquisite meal.

"I disagree," Dartz smirks into his glass of white wine. "I found it quite entertaining."

"You are both, psychotic," Siegfried retorts, shaking his head and wondering for the first time if it was a mistake to hook up with the two madmen.

'Maybe if I run now, Kaiba won't equate me with anything else that happens,' he muses.

The two other men laugh at him, Pegasus' Eye gleaming as he plucks that thought from Siegfried's head.

"I just hope they didn't damage my Kaiba-boy too bad," Pegasus continues. "I'm so sure that he can win."

"Do you two honestly think they will continue with the contest?" Siegfried balks.

"What choice to they have?" Dartz sneers, his eyes cutting to the five soulless beings mechanically eating at the end of the long table.

"Besides, it's too late to back out now," Pegasus quips, looking directly into Siegfried's eyes. "Kaiba will kill us all, no matter what happens from now on."

Siegfried swallows in fear.

"Ah, well! What will be, will be," the CEO dismisses with a wave. "We still need to pick a winner and a loser for this week."

"P-perhaps it would be best if we wait for Herr Hopkins to make such a decision," Siegfried prompts, eager for the slight change of subject.

"He didn't accept the offer to dine with us and he knew that we would be judging tonight," Dartz intercedes coolly. "His loss."

"I agree," Pegasus fans himself once more with the yellow feathers before standing. "Come, let us retire to my study and we can view the photos projected onto my view screen. You may bring your drinks if you like," he tosses, scooping up his own glass of white wine and heading down the hall.

"But what about…" Siegfried trails off as his eyes land on their soulless captives.

"Hmm? Oh, right!" The wielder of the Millennium Eye commands his puppets to stop eating and go to sleep, an order that they all follow immediately, forks dropping and heads nodding down where they sit.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Full of concern for the volatile CEO, Amelda, Yami and Yugi have gotten together to form a contingency plan on what to do if Kaiba doesn't emerge soon from his self imposed isolation.

The billionaire had been released by the guards several hours after the incident at judging, commandeered one of the cameraman's cars and disappeared into the night. Upon his return early the next morning, he'd kicked Amelda out of their shared bedroom with only his toiletries and a few changes of clothes and shut himself away from the world.

Now, a full two days later, no one has seen hide nor hair of Seto Kaiba.

"You should have knocked him out, Yami," Amelda insists. "Then he wouldn't have been raging so long and maybe he'd have calmed down faster. And then maybe he wouldn't still be locked in that room!"

"Because you know nothing about Kaiba, I'll ignore the stupidity of your statement," Yami glowers.

"Maybe it's you who knows nothing about him, Yami!" Amelda snaps.

"Yami's right, Amelda. You don't know enough about Kaiba's history to---"

"So you think it's fine for him to be locked up in that room too?" Amelda cuts Yugi off.

"Amelda, with Dartz power to bring back the dead, that was probably Gozaboro Kaiba for real. Mind Crushing Kaiba in front of Gozaboro would have made him look weak. Kaiba would rather die than appear weak in front of that monster. Do you understand?" Yami snarls.

The redhead doesn't really understand, but thinks it best not provoke the obviously less-than-sane Game King at the moment.

"Fine," he exhales. "So what do we do now?"

"We wait," Yugi replies. "Yami will try to bring him some food at dinner-time. Until then, we leave him be."

Amelda hates the idea of leaving his new friend in whatever screwed up state he's in, but realizes that Yami and Yugi have known Kaiba far longer, so he accepts that maybe they're right in their approach to the situation.

"I still don't like it," Amelda admits, glancing out Yami's bedroom door toward where the CEO is holed up.

"Trust us, Amelda," Yugi smiles lightly.

"Hey! You guys hungry?" Jounouchi calls into the open doorway, breaking the somber mood. "They're serving lunch in 10 minutes."

After affirmative nods all around, they all follow Jounouchi.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Following a quiet lunch, Amelda joins Yugi, Jounouchi and Honda in their room with the idea of just hanging out with the trio for a while. Yami had gone to his own room with his angsting roommate. The former Pharoah and his former Tomb Keeper's dark side have formed a loose friendship of sorts. When Malik starts going crazy from missing Rishid and is about to go on a pointless rampage, Yami is able to calm him down.

When Kaiba kicked him out of their room, Amelda found himself crashing with Honda, Jou and Yugi. Oddly enough, these few days with the three have turned out to be quite positive for him.

Despite their boisterous natures, Jounouchi and Honda are actually fairly calm individuals, while Yugi prides himself on not flying off the handle in most situations. Amelda finds the time spent with the obviously very close friends to be rather soothing.

Except maybe for Jounouchi's whining about being 'so horny' all the time. Like he's doing now.

"Jou, seriously, if you say that one more time, I'm gonna start smackin' you around!" Honda snaps at the blonde's fourth "so horny" sigh in the last ten minutes.

"I can't help it!" Jounouchi whines. "I shouldn't have broken up with Valon. You have no idea what this is like!"

For the first time in Amelda's memory of the brunet and his friends, he witnesses Honda's carefree, jovial facade crack.

"No idea what it's like, huh?" the brunet stammers. "At least you could do something about your crushing loneliness. How do you think Yugi and I feel, knowing that we can't…"

"Hiroto…" Jounouchi trails off, hopping up from his sprawl across his bed to enfold Honda into a warm embrace.

A moment later, Yugi joins them from where he's sitting at the desk as silent sobs wrack the stocky brunet's body.

Feeling completely out of place as the three friends all begin to all break down, Amelda swiftly leaves the room, only to nearly collide with a distraught Yami rushing by him.

As the former Pharaoh joins his grieving friends, Amelda quietly closes the bedroom door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Amelda wanders around the castle's grounds for the better part of an hour, unsure whether he should go back to the room he's staying in temporarily. He doesn't want to intrude on his newest friends' consolation of each other. Though he could probably seek out his fellow former DOMA duelist, he isn't interested in spending any time with Valon at the moment and he has next to no association with any of the castle's other occupants. After another few minutes of wandering, the redhead finds refuge on a cushiony lounge chair next to the surprisingly deep pool at the back of the property. He's barely closed his eyes in relaxation when he feels a presence nearby.

'Maybe if I pretend to be asleep, they'll go away,' he thinks.

"Of course you'd be here," Kaiba's familiar, gruff tenor intones. "Where else would I find a princess, but lounging around, expecting to be waited on hand and foot?"

Concerned silver assesses cool sapphire.

"Are you alright?" the smaller man frowns.

"Next question," Kaiba retorts.

Nodding in understanding and knowing not to press any further from his conversation with Yami and Yugi, Amelda instead sits forward and extends his arms.

"Carry me? Your princess is tired from walking around all afternoon," the redhead grins.

"Not in this lifetime," Kaiba scoffs.

"Then can I at least move back into the room?" he entreats.

"Whatever," Kaiba dismisses turning on his heel and heading back toward the castle.

Amelda smiles lightly to himself and quickly follows.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Just own the words, not the folks.

**Title:** Duel Monsters Next Top Model (13/?)  
**Author:** Mishiko Shinsei  
**Rating:** NC-17 (eventually)  
**Pairing (s):** Various  
**Beta:** None  
**Spoilers:** Minor for the series  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters in Yu-gi-Oh, just the cracked-out stories I write about them.  
**Summary:** Pegasus is crazy. He draws two other crazies with him, Dartz and Siegfried von Schroeder. Together the three make our beloved duelists an offer they can't refuse. Warnings for crack! and slight OOC-ness.

**Week 5 – Part 1**

"I'm bored," the white-haired former thief grumbles, as he and Ryou make their way to breakfast.

"You say that all the time," Ryou intones, putting down the latest note from Pegasus about their continued ordeal. He'd read the rhyme inside which had promised something about 'dressing down to dress up' as well as a verse that even he'd found childish and silly.

The former thief grins mischievously as an idea crosses his mind.

"Gimmie that," he demands, taking the oversized card from his soul-partner's hand.

"Don't tear it up! I wanted to show it to every one at breakfast," Ryou demands.

"I'm not gonna do anything to it," Bakura assures, striding ahead.

'When he's in this kind of a mood, anything can happen,' Ryou sighs to himself as he follows behind.

He begins to believe his darker half as they calmly get their plates from the buffet and sit down to a quiet meal with Otogi and Honda. His suspicions start to wane even further when Bakura reads the card aloud to their table and then hands it to the other occupants for them to read as well. He is fully convinced of his innocence when Bakura even offers to share it with first the table next to them where Malik, Marik, Noa and Valon are chatting and devouring their own breakfasts.

"I should have known better," he mumbles under his breath as he watches his other head over to the main table in the corner.

Deciding not to worry about what mayhem the former thief could be planning, Ryou turns back to his tea.

"Maybe it won't be as bad as you think," Otogi attempts to soothe.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

'This is gonna be great,' Bakura thinks to himself as he saunters toward Kaiba's table. 'He'll probably rip it to shreds in less than ten seconds!'

Eager to alleviate his boredom, Bakura casually tosses the Toon Blue Eyes White Dragon greeting card onto the table. The CEO's reaction is even better than Bakura imagined when Seto immediately whips a lighter out of his pocket and sets the colorful object on fire.

"Kaiba!" Jounouchi, Yami and Yugi admonish as Amelda uses his glass of water to put out the flames.

Kaiba's contemptuous sneer is all the response they receive.

Bakura throws his head back and cackles in enjoyment.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Okay, give it to me! Let's go!" Ryou looks up at the order.

"I'm sorry, give you what?" the white-haired duelist frowns at the photographer.

"C'mon! Make me believe it!" the other commands.

"Believe it?"

"You know! Just…be emotional! Show me your feelings!" the professional exclaims in exasperation.

As the first model chosen for the black and white photo challenge, Ryou finds the man's gruffness off-putting. It's not as if the short, balding gentleman had explained himself very well with his barked orders.

"My feelings about what?" he inquires sincerely.

"That's it! I'm done!" the high-strung man yells, stomping off in a huff.

"Oh, my," Pegasus waves his blue pastel fan in agitation as he watches the man's retreating back. "This will definitely delay judging."

"Agreed," Dartz nods beside him. "I'll work on getting another photographer right away."

"That won't be necessary," Siegfried intones, removing his suit jacket and rolling up his sleeves. "I'm perfectly capable of filling in. That man is an overrated hack anyway. I told you not to hire him."

"Hm. So you did," Pegasus smirks behind his fan, as he observes the CEO tying his long, pink hair into a ponytail and resetting the camera and lighting to his liking.

"Now Ryou, I will be taking what's called a 'beauty shot' of your face and upper torso. I need for you to think about something in your life that has upset or saddened you deeply and show it to me," the replacement photographer instructs.

"I'll try," Ryou nods in understanding.

"That's all I ask," he replies seriously.

"Mmm. This is quite unexpected," Pegasus intones as he watches Sieg move easily through the fifth photo session with no problems. "Perhaps we should have him do more of the photo shoots, if he's this capable."

"I agree that he appears rather gifted with the camera, but we should reserve judgment until we see the finished product." Dartz replies.

"And until we see how he handles our more difficult contestants," the Industrial Illusions CEO smiles as he watches the Blue Eyes Dragon Master step onto the set.

"No," the tall duelist declares, glaring hatefully at the man before him.

"Now, now, Kaiba-boy," Pegasus interjects, waving his fan at the disgruntled participant. "If you don't take a picture, you could be disqualified."

"Which would mean that Mokuba and I can go home," Kaiba smirks. "Thanks for the further incentive not to cooperate."

The sudden series of flashes surprise both Pegasus and Kaiba.

"What the fuck?" Kaiba snarls. "I definitely wasn't giving you anything emotional to take a picture of!"

"Of course you are," Siegfried retorts, snapping even more photos of the enraged man. "Blind fury is an emotion too."

"Fuck you!" Kaiba growls, stalking from the set as Sieg continues snapping his photograph.

"I would say that he handles them very well," Dartz smiles at the exchange.

"Agreed," Pegasus laughs as Sieg sets up for the next contestant.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"The winner of this challenge will receive a special prize chosen by Judge Crawford," Croquet informs the remaining duelists.

"Oh, joy," Yami mumbles. "It's probably a life-sized Funny Bunny plushie."

"Heh! That'd be right jolly!" Valon pipes up beside him.

"Shhh!" Ryou admonishes with a serious face. Bakura and Marik burst out laughing at his expression.

"As I was I was saying," Croquet raises his voice over the two delinquent's laughter. "This challenge was designed to encourage you to use just your face to express a strong emotion. After viewing the film, the judges have determined four finalists. Please step forward when I call your name."

"Should we yell 'Present' too?" Otogi deadpans, Bakura snickering behind him.

"It is a little 'primary school,' isn't it?" Amelda nods.

"Let's just get this shit over with," Kaiba retorts, his patience having eroded away at least an hour ago.

"To continue," Croquet snips loudly. "Mr. Mouto, Mr. Kaiba, Mr. Ishtar and Mr. Jounouchi are the finalists."

Only Marik and Jou step forth.

"Would our other two finalists care to join us?"

"Perhaps," Noah responds with a smirk. "That's if we knew which of us you meant."

Croquet looks down at his score sheet in confusion.

"He means that there's two Kaibas and two Moutos ya dumb fuck!" Jounouchi snarls uncharacteristically.

Honda touches his friend's arm, frowning lightly.

"There's no need for such hostility, Mr. Jounouchi," Croquet bristles.

"Whatever! I'm outta here. I need some food," he retorts, shrugging Honda's hand away and storming off toward the house.

"I've not yet announced the winners, Mr. Jounouchi," Croquet admonishes.

Jounouchi offers Pegasus' right-hand man a middle finger salute and keeps walking.

"Huh. Something's got blondie's knickers in a knot," Valon observes.

"The last two finalists are Yugi Mouto and Seto Kaiba," Croquet continues smoothly, refusing to allow the other's behavior to disrupt him.

After this latest affront, he is done with this charade. Now that he has finished this latest duty, he will officially resign as the contest's Artistic Director.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Jou?" Yugi pokes his head into their shared bedroom, glad to see the blonde duelist sitting quietly in on of the two recliners in the room.

"What'dya want, Yug'?' he drawls sullenly.

"Are you alright?"

"Just peachy," he mumbles.

"Jou…"

He's heard that tone before. Yugi's doe-eyed 'I'm just worried about you, Jou,' voice. It's the same one he used on Jounouchi when they were in high school. That voice made him give back the puzzle piece. That voice made him quit Huritani's gang. That voice made him protect Yugi instead of torment him.

But that voice can't pry these feelings from him. The complete helplessness as he watches his friends and family get tortured by three maniacs, simply for their sick amusement; the sense of betrayal of those same friends and family every time he finds himself enjoying any aspect of this farce. The rage that his favorite pastime, dueling, has yet again put those he cares about in danger.

And the sometimes overwhelming feeling that he's completely unworthy of all the attention he's getting; of the love and support from his friends, of anyone's notice. Being constantly on display and 'judged' reminds him that he's just a worthless kid from the streets, whose own parents didn't even want him.

No, Yugi's special voice won't work on him this time.

"So who won Peg-head's 'great' prize?" he defers, forcing a sarcastic smile.

"Actually, I did," Yugi admits.

"Heh! Good fer you! So what was it? The giant plushie?"

"I don't know yet. I was told my surprise would be in the study."

"So, what are ya doin' here? Checking to make sure I haven't destroyed the place?" the blonde jokes, his jovial mask completely restored.

"Partially," the shorter duelist admits. "I was also told that I could pick a friend to share my prize with, so I told Croquet that I wanted to share it with you."

Choking down that feeling of unworthiness, he responds with, "So, ya thinkin' about testing the waters, huh? Giant plushie aside, ya know I don't share."

Yugi smiles at his friend's antics, fully aware of the carefully crafted mask Jounouchi's displaying, before insisting that they go see what they've won.

Opening the door to the study, he completely comes undone at the sight before him.

"Y-Yugi?" Anzu stammers in distress. "What's going on? Where are we?'

Beside her sits an equally distraught and terrified Shizuka.

"Katsuya?" she whispers. "Do you know where Hiroto is? I haven't seen him since he left for work this morning."

"Motherfucking bastard," Jounouchi snarls.

"Now, now, Jounouchi," Pegasus intones from behind the two men. "I would almost think that you don't like your prize."

"I'll kill you, you worthless piece of shit!" Jounouchi yell, turning to advance on the Industrial Illusions CEO.

"Rubber, glue and all that, Jounouchi-boy," he titters, slamming the study door in Jounouchi's face, the lock clicking ominously.

"Open this fucking door, you manic!" Jounouchi shouts.

"You have four hours, gentleman. I suggest you use the time wisely," Pegasus announces through the door. "Ta-ta!"

Yugi moves his fiancée with him to the loveseat in the corner, folding the suddenly weeping woman into his arms.

Calming himself for Shizuka's sake Jounouchi wrestles his unbridled rage under control and joins her on the couch, offering his shoulder for her to lean on until she stops shaking.

The four sit together silently for a while, Yugi soothing Anzu with soft touches and warm kisses; Jounouchi rocking his beloved baby sister as if she were a child again. Neither Jounouchi nor Yugi want to spend a minute of their precious few hours to do anything else, but they know that they have little choice in the matter.

Nodding to each other in agreement, they sit back and quietly explain what's going on.


End file.
